Fables for Grown-Up Children

5. Goat

It was lonely at the top. All the same, Goat didn't like when intrepid spirits like Frog and Hedgehog and Squirrel summited his mountain. It wasn't good for his image. He had tried to sabotage the trio as he had Hedgehog alone, but there was power in numbers. Apparently.

Goat read the Chirp again. It was like all the others Pigeon had brought before:

Big fan here! What's it like being king of the mountain? #goals

Goat stood there, trying to decide whether to eat the paper this was written on, when the smug little gang came marching past him.

"Hey, Goat! I have something for you!" Hedgehog announced. She opened her dainty palm to reveal a small mushroom. "We found these really helpful during our trip." Hedgehog giggled the last word, and Frog and Squirrel soon joined in. The threesome threw each other significant looks.

"Trying to retaliate, Hedgehog?" Goat said coolly. "You can't deny the rocks I showed you were magic."

"Yeah. So are these," replied Hedgehog. "And I have no need to retaliate. But I suspect you could use this mushroom."

Rather than reply, Goat took the Chirp into his mouth and chewed, staring her down all the while.

"I'll just leave it here, then," chortled Hedgehog as she placed the shroom on a flat, oblong rock. The little creatures went on their merry way.

"Why would I need anything," Goat huffed under his breath, watching them go. "I'm Goat. I thrive in the most extreme conditions, by myself, and I have legions of admirers."

But Goat couldn't placate himself, and felt the need to chew something. The Chirp was long gone and that stupid mushroom just sat there, challenging him. Daring him, even.

Goat ate the mushroom before Hedgehog and her crew were out of earshot. It tasted terrible. Grumbling, Goat walked over to his favorite ledge and struck a magnificent pose. That usually helped.

Goat was standing there, cutting a fine figure, when The Mountain spoke to him.

You are not King of the Mountain. The Mountain is King of the Goats. I am your King.

"What?" said Goat, a bit unnerved. "Of course I'm King of the Mountain. Everyone says so."

If Everyone disappeared tomorrow, would you still be King? Does it depend upon their saying so?

"Ummm," said Goat. "I never thought about it before."

"Kings have subjects. Who would your subjects be, if Everyone disappeared?"

"Ummmmmmmmm," Goat repeated, only longer this time. His grandiose pose was starting to slump.

"Who you take yourself to be depends upon Everyone else. And you also depend upon me. If anything, you are my subject. So Goat, who are you, exactly? What are you?"

"Uhhh..."

"You must be your body," mused The Mountain.

"I could lose parts of my body and still be me. I guess it's a question of how much I could lose and still be Goat."

"Maybe you are your mind? Your memory?"

"I don't know about that. My uncle lost his mind, and all his memories, a few years before he died. But he still existed. He was still my uncle." Goat was sitting down now. The Mountain tended to shake when it spoke.

"Ah. Are you just one small part of something bigger? Something you don't understand?"

"Ummmm. Huh. Could be." Goat could swear his legs were turning to stone, like The Mountain itself.

"Or are you the sum total of a bunch of small things, hard-to-see things, that you don't understand?"

"Both?" ventured Goat.

"Hmmm," answered The Mountain.

"Errrrr," Goat replied.

"Should you concern yourself with what anyone else is doing, if you aren't sure about the basics? About just who and what you are?" The Mountain sounded amused.

"I guess not," mumbled Goat. He studied his hooves for a moment. "It seems these questions are enough to contend with, without keeping track of everyone else."

"Just my point. Get it? Point?! Because I have a peak that looks pointy from far away!"

Goat bleated, a startled laugh. "And yet it's actually flat enough for me to lay down on...I've done so countless times. It's not pointy at all, up close."

"You're starting to get it."

"Ummmm...."

Goat watched as a bit of grey cloud circled downward in his direction.

"Ummmmmmmm..." Goat repeated as the cloud blinked at him.

"Goat? It's me, Pigeon!"

"Oh, Pigeon! Hi! Do you know you look like a bit of cloud from far away?"

"I did not know that. How interesting your perspective must be, here on The Mountain."

"It's like I can see everything from up here," answered Goat. "Except for those things that are closest to me. That is, myself."

"Riiiight," said Pigeon. He was writing something down.

"I don't know if you came to deliver another Chirp, Pigeon," continued Goat. "But I don't wish to receive any more of those. I've decided my questions are enough."

"Fascinating!" answered Pigeon, scribbling faster. "Decided...enough." Pigeon snapped his notepad shut and smiled at Goat. "I don't deliver Chirps anymore."

"To what do I owe the pleasure, then?"

Pigeon shrugged. "I'm just doing my thing."

"Ummmmm," nodded Goat. "Ok. Do your thing."

"You seem very spiritual now, Goat. Alone on a mountain, chanting ummmm, living in questions, unperturbed by others...it's like you are entirely different than just a few days ago."

"I suppose that is possible. Although how will I ever answer Who I Am if I can change so suddenly? How can you study something so tricky?"

"Uhhhh..." Pigeon began.

"Hmmm," Goat joined in.

Hahaha! The Mountain echoed.

"Hey, Pigeon. Next time you see Hedgehog, tell her thanks."

"I will." Pigeon rose up, a swirl of ashes. Flying higher, Pigeon became a fragment of cloud once more. Then, Goat could no longer see him.

"Not that seeing is everything," murmured Goat.

"What's more important than seeing?" The Mountain challenged.

"Ummm...asking," answered Goat. "Right now, anyway." Goat lay his head down on The Mountain, at one with himself. It wasn't so lonely at the top after all.