Fables for Grown-Up Children

7. Rabbit

Good thing Duck had found more time simply by deciding when enough was enough, because Rabbit was about to require a good deal of it.

Oh, Rabbit. She had tried to calm down on her own, but we know how rarely that works. The stress of being herself had compounded until her nose twitched day and night. This is what she told Duck upon arriving at the stream, breathless.

"What has you feeling so stressed?" asked Duck. "Do you feel pressed for time? Because if so--"

"No," interrupted Rabbit, her pretty brown eyes darting hither and thither. "I'm stressed because I worry too much."

"What are you worried about?"

"I'm worried that I'll never stop worrying...about everything," answered Rabbit.

"I can see how that might be...worrisome," said Duck thoughtfully.

"Yes. And it makes me sad, being so worried all the time."

"So you're sad and worried about worrying too much," said Duck.

"Yes! And I'm scared I'll be sad forever!" cried Rabbit. She began to quiver and indeed, it was her nose that led the way.

"You're scared about being sad and you're sad about being worried. Got it," nodded Duck.

"But that's not all, Duck! Lately I've been feeling angry about how scared I am. Why won't the feelings just go away! It's not fair!" Rabbit stomped a paw into the mud. It splattered and hit Duck in the eye.

"I'm not sure whether fairness is what we need to focus on," began Duck, blinking rapidly.

Rabbit ignored her. "And what's more, I'm embarrassed by how mad and scared and sad and worried I am. That's why I put off coming to you for advice. I'm ashamed!"

"Anything else?" asked Duck.

"I'm rather tired these days," said Rabbit. Her whiskers drooped as she admitted it.

"I should think so," laughed Duck, by accident.

"Should I be worried about the fatigue?" asked Rabbit. "Between that and the twitching, I'm starting to wonder if I have a terrible disease!"

"No!" quacked Duck. "Just hold on a minute. Tell me something. Would you rather be worried about everything, or would you rather be embarrassed at being angry over feeling scared about how sad it makes you to worry about everything?"

"They both sound horrible," whined Rabbit.

"That's alright," said Duck. "Which one sounds less exhausting?"

"I guess simply being worried," muttered Rabbit. "But I was hoping you'd tell me how to stop worrying."

"Sorry, Rabbit, but your assignment is to become better at worrying," Duck pronounced. "Since you do it all the time, you may as well do it spectacularly."

Rabbit leaped straight up, her eyes wild with fright.

"You're scared to worry better," Duck said flatly.

"And mad just thinking about it!" huffed Rabbit. "It's preposterous!"

"Maybe so. But you must try it. When you find yourself worrying about something, I want you to  really get into it. Feel it from the tip of your wiggly nose to the ends of your fluffy tail. If you're twitching, twitch harder."

"That's it?" said Rabbit doubtfully.

"There's more," said Duck. "Turn up the volume on your worries. Whatever stories are unfolding in your head, I want you to amplify and embellish them. Think of the worse case scenario, and finish each story with the phrase 'and then I'll die.'"

"What?!" yelped Rabbit.

"Go on and try it now. What's one thing worrying you presently?"

"Right now, I'm worried you're a charlatan, and also that you'll tell someone about our conversation. Word will spread through the forest and everyone will laugh at me!" Rabbit was trembling again.

"Perfect," said Duck. Which muscles are shaking the hardest right now?"

Rabbit squeezed her eyes shut in concentration. "I don't know. This is stupid." Her tremors were coming in waves, with stillness between bouts of shaking.

"It's quite stupid, yes. But try to shake harder, and tell me about everyone laughing at you."

"I'm in the middle of a circle. Fox and Crow and Possum and Hedgehog and Squirrel are all surrounding me, jeering and joking. Crow is urging it on the most. And I just want to die from the shame of it!" wailed Rabbit.

"Ok, so you go home to your burrow and kill yourself, right?" asked Duck good-naturedly.

"Why, no!" gasped Rabbit, opening her eyes.

"Do you die on the spot, in the middle of the circle, from embarrassment? I've heard this can happen." Duck kept a straight face.

"I doubt it, but one never knows," said Rabbit defensively. Her body was still now.

"You have to end the story with dying, Rabbit," said Duck patiently.

"That's silly! I can't!" yelled Rabbit. "And there's plenty reason to be upset even if something doesn't kill you!"

"Ok! So be upset! Be mad. Be sad. Be scared. Be embarrassed. But only be one thing at a time." Duck was hitting the water for emphasis.

"Now I'm annoyed," announced Rabbit.

"Only annoyed?" Duck asked hopefully.

"Yes," said Rabbit, narrowing her eyes. "At you."

"Success!" shouted Duck, raising her wings to the sky.

Rabbit began to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. She collapsed into the mud, clutching her furry belly and kicking as she convulsed with laughter. Duck joined in.

"I might DIE of annoyance," squeaked Rabbit.

"How sad!" gasped Duck. "And scary! I'm feeling guilty, too..."

And the pair laughed harder.

Rabbit wiped the tears from her chestnut eyes. "Thank you, Duck. I do understand the point you are making. But I'm afraid I'll need to come back many times. This is not something I'm going to learn in one conversation."

"That's fine. But if you are afraid of how many times you'll need to return, please don't feel guilty and embarrassed about it on top of that."

"I'll try not to."

"Besides, I want you to come back, Rabbit. I need you as much as you need me. We are all connected, and none of us have all the answers."

"You seem to, Duck," said Rabbit softly.

"I don't. But I have all the time in the world to talk, and that's good enough." Duck had a twinkle in her eye. "Now go home and take a nap."