I left her behind! [COMPLETED]

Chapter 10: The letter

Before you read this chapter, I'm very sorry that I am late to uploading some of the chapters. I am in the middle of exams this week and I'm just trying to study and make good grades. Thank you guys and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Another thing is that I'm sorry the chapter is shorter. I was just trying to get something to you guys. Thank you have a great day.

Dear Clarke,
By this time you have found out that I am gone and I know that you wish you could have been with me throughout this time, but I wouldn't have wanted you too. I wouldn't want you to see me like this but that's not important now. I want you to know that I love you. I have loved you more than any other person in the whole universe. You were my world and if anything were to have happened to you then I don't know what I would do with myself. I'm so sorry for all the things that I never got to say and all the things that I did to hurt you. I haven't been the best mother during any part of your life and I wish that I could go back in time and change everything that I did wrong and try to be better then I was. I wish I could have seen you find a partner. I wish I could have been there when you have kids and help you teach them all the things in life. I know that you will find someone to be with you throughout the rest of your life and I can't wait to see who that is. I will be watching over you from above and don't forget that.
I want you to know that I love you. Please try to find happiness and peace as you grow up and be able to say you had a good life. I know you have dealt with so many things and some of those you will never forget, but try to find that happiness, you deserve it. I love you so much and I will always love you. I will miss you. Goodbye my loving Clarke Griffin. May we meet again.
Your mother,
Abby

2 weeks later
Third person POV
After Clarke read the letter, she went into a very dark state of mind. She hated herself for leaving her there and not taking her with her but she also knew that she couldn't have come because she was a doctor. She was depressed because she never got to talk to her mom before she passed. Never got to say I love you and never got to hug her goodbye. Never got to apologize for the things she has done and what she put her through. Clarke had many thoughts of just ending then and there. She still had the gun that Bellamy gave her. She didn't eat very much and didn't sleep. She was just up. Drawing more and more pictures of some of the memories with her mother.

Bellamy was very worried the entire time. He wanted to give her some space because he knows what she is going through. That didn't stop him from worrying. Every time he saw her, she looked so skinny and her eyes had big dark circles around them and were puffy from crying so much. All he wanted to do was run up to her and hug her and say that everything was going to be alright.

Madi also kept her distance but she was with Clarke a lot more. Sometimes she would get her food for her and would tell her about what was going on at the camp. Madi helped a lot, but it made her sad about everything. She never had a chance to meet Abby and after all the stories she told her about her, she was so excited to meet her but she never did.

Bellamy's POV

It had been 2 weeks since Clarke read the letter from her mom and she has been spending a lot of time by herself. I didn't see her that much and was constantly worried if she was okay. She told me that she just wanted to be alone for a while and I knew she needed some time, but I didn't want her to be alone. No one should be alone during something like this, but I went ahead to my old room that Madi gave me and stayed there until she was ready.

Everyone from the bunker was now in the forest and there were already many more cabins for more people. We almost had every family and person in a cabin and then we could go just living and try to be happy. Octavia had her own cabin that was near the center of camp. Her's was bigger then everyone else's and was more spacious. 

With so many new people, we needed a lot more food. There were a lot of hunts and I went to basically all of them. It was time for the next hunt and was grabbing my bow and knife when Octavia stopped me before leaving. "Hey Bell, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah of course. What's up?" I put my bow down and walked over to her. "How is Clarke? I haven't seen her in weeks and every time I try to look for her, she is in her room. I'm just worried. I know that it's very hard what she is going through." I honestly didn't know how to answer that myself and was asking those same questions myself.

"I don't know I'm trying to give her some space cause we know what she is going though and when we were going through that we just wanted to be alone." I said picking up my stuff again. She gave a nod and looked down and gave her a squeeze on her shoulder before running back up with the group to hunt.

That night we had a big gathering like every other night and everyone got their food and went to eat with their families. I got my food and went to my room and ate. I stayed in my room for the rest of the night and went to bed a little early.

In the middle of the night I hear my door open and close and then I feel someone get in the bed and hug me tightly from behind. I turn around and see a gorgeous girl in front of me. Her beautiful eyes staring in mine. She gave a light smile and I gave one back.

"Are you okay?" I asked cautiously. "No Bell, I'm all alone. I have no one now. No one that I can call family." She said tears coming down her face but it was a silent cry. I wiped the tears off and cupped her face in my hand. "You have me and I will never leave you and will always be there for you. I promise."

She kissed me softly but with passion and when we broke apart she laid her head on my chest and hugged my body. I put my arm under her head and put my other arm around her waist. We both started to drift off to sleep, just thinking about the person in our arms and how we could never live without them.