Your My Dream (BoyxBoy) 30

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*Jessie's POV*

"Sure?" is my standard response. I'm actually quite curious as to why he wants to speak with me. Kelso had never been an emotional kid, but the move will be rough on him to I suppose. He had his little group of friends here. I sit up in my bed.

"I was..." he wanders in, speaking as he move's, to hyped up to sit still. He clears his throat, still not looking at me, and beginning to pace. "I was just wondering if you could give me some... advice. Kelsey's my sister, so she'd laugh if I went to her, but I need a girls opinion.. And your kinda like a girl right? So can you help?"

I blink once. Twice. "Erm.. Kelso. Being a gay dude" he shudders at the word gay, making my grimace "Does not make me female. I struggle to throw together a decent outfit, couldn't do hair to save lives, and can't even do a good 'gay guy voice'"

When he scowls, at least it's directly at me. "Look Jessie!!! Your queer! Can you help me or what?!"

I roll my eye's. "I'm oh so sorry. Let me try this again" I cough, adjusting my voice, then start speaking again in a ditzy way-to-high voice. "So girlfriend, what's the 411? You got a juicy little piece of gossip to lay on me???" he looks flustered at my dynamics. I smile.

"Better?" I suggest. He looks at me in horror.

"Never do that again." he warns.

I actually crack a genuine smile. "Maybe I'll start doing it all the time."

He gags, and it doesn't even hurt my feelings. I've gotten over his insensitivities.

"So what's on your mind..?" I reproach the topic.

"Poppy is, but that's nothing knew" he half-whispered. Poppy huh? Never knew my little brother was a romantic. I can only image the many problems that must be dancing in his head. Do I break up with her? How do I say goodbye? Will this feeling ever go away?

I know because those are my own uncertainties with Tristan.

"Are you guys going out?" I enquire, trying to bleach some of my interest from my words.

"No. she doesn't know how I feel..." he approaches me cautiously, and sits on the end of my bed, looking at his feet. ".. I want to tell her. Tomorrow, when her and Joey come to say goodbye. But.." he looks up at me with big gray-blue eye's. "I'm scared"

At this moment I wish I could do something comforting, like hug him, or put a hand on his shoulder can't of course-he'd totally freak out. So I'm left helpless to jump to is aid for the few moments it take's for me to collect myself and find words.

"Of what?" I choke out, feeling emotional.

"Rejection... or of not being rejected I guess"

I blink. "Wouldn't it be a good thing if she didn't reject you?"

"no. because then I'd now I wasted time when I could have had her all along. I'll know deep inside that I blew my one and only chance. I'll know that we could have had something, something beautiful and special, if only I'd been brave enough"

A sudden flash of memory race's through my mind. At Miss. Lucille's cottage style little house by the beach, me and Tristan, kissing like there's no tomorrow. Going further and further until... until I stopped him. Because I wasn't brave enough. My only chance at something beautiful and special...

"Tell her" I told him, such firmness in my voice that he looked at me curiously.

"Tell her." I repeat "They'll be other girls Kelso, but it'll bug you for a long, long time if you never find out about this one. Have something. Have your beautiful special thing, if only for a little while, knowing it was golden while it lasted."

My eye's are distant. Crowed over. I'm feeling more and more depressed, spiralling deeper and deeper into an endless pit of sadness. All the little mistake's I'd made with Tristan are all mocking me ferociously in my head. Going to Josh's party, leaving him at Canada's wonderland, avoiding him, pushing him away. Refusing sex like a wimpy little tease.

Wasting time.

"Umm.." Kelso looks awkward, seeming to sense my mood. "What if she doesn't return my feelings?"

"Doesn't matter. Were moving. No harm no foul. What's important is that you need to know. Need to know so that'll it won't trail you around for the rest of your life, a persistent little piece of agony that'll make you lose sleep. "

Kelso's fairly fightened now. "I.. erm...okay" he gets up and neatly leave's the room, his eye's calculating, chewing over everything I've said. Good. I gave him good advice, that's my opinion anyways. I hoep he listens.

I wish I had of taken my own advice when I'd had the chance....

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So for any of you who didn't get that, Jessie regrets not having sex...stupid teenager. :P

Anywho, Be sure to comment, cuz I really dont like uploading until being showered in commetns.

Alas~your my dream is close to over. But no worrys......There will be a sequel :)

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