Requiem for a Soldier (Requiem #1)

Chapter 34: Close Encounter

August 28th

Ryan

I watch the firelight flicker on Ana's face as she concentrates on the marshmallow at the end of her stick. The sun set about an hour ago and the shadows accentuate her coloring. Her hair is down, dark curls fading to black as they cascade over her shoulders. Her dark eyebrows and irises stand out against the golden glow on her face. Her lips curve into a small smile as she turns her marshmallow over.

I still believe that you're a hero, Ryan Burke.

Her words from five days ago haven't stopped echoing inside my head. I'd told her what happened the day all my friends died. How I couldn't save them. How they'd died waiting for me to bring them more ammunition. How their deaths were my fault. But despite all that, she still believed in me. Believes in me.

I never could have imagined how much those words would affect me. After so many years blaming myself, I've found someone who knows the whole story and doesn't think I'm to blame. Someone who thinks I should be awarded. The way she makes me feel just by looking at me is... incomparable. I've never felt so at home with someone.

And she's so beautiful.

Ana's eyes flick up to mine and I freeze.  

"Your marshmallow's on fire," she says matter-of-factly.

With a jerk, I pull the flaming marshmallow away from the small bonfire and blow it out. I glance back at her and she does her best to suppress her smile.

"I like the burned ones," I lie.

"No you don't," she says with a laugh.

"Yes I do. They're my favorite," I say, going for playful rather than defensive.

She sits back on the log she's using as a seat. "Is that so? Then why aren't you eating it?"

In response, I pull the marshmallow off the stick and pop it in my mouth.

After a moment, she begins to laugh again. "I can see you, you know. I can tell you haven't chewed or swallowed it. Are you planning to wait until my back is turned to spit it out?"

I don't respond.

"Oh for goodness sake," she says. Ana clamps her marshmallow roasting stick between her knees as she reaches for the graham crackers and chocolate between us. She hands me a piece of each.

"Here," she says. "Try using these to mask the flavor, you big baby."

While I eat the s'more, she constructs her own and takes a bite, getting sticky marshmallow all over her face and her fingers.

"These are so good," she says, licking her fingers. "S'mores are the ultimate camping food."

There's still some marshmallow and melted chocolate at the corner of her mouth. My first thought is to reach over and wipe it off. My second is to kiss it away. Before I can get any more bright ideas, I point to her mouth and say, "You've got something there."

She makes a face at me. Then, while holding very deliberate eye contact with me, she licks her lips slowly.

I feel heat rising into my face and I look at the dog lying near Ana's feet. She was just trying to be funny, I know. She couldn't have meant for that to be as sensual as it was. I know there's no way she'd be attracted to me. I know she's not the type of person to lead me on or try to manipulate me like Saph. I need to remember that she's not into me, that this, that us, can never be a thing. It's getting terrifyingly easy to forget that.