Dean dropped the test and backed up into the wall, tears pooling at his eyes. When Sam heard the thud he ran to the bathroom, trying to open it but it was locked. Jess saw Sam run so she followed.
"Dean? Dean are you okay?" Sam asked, voice laced with worry.
Jessica felt her heart ache, she knows what the sound was. She knows why it happened. "Dean It's going to be okay, we're here for you.."
Sam gave her a questioning look but then trend back to the door. He was thinking of kicking it down but then remembered their father's terrible parenting skills, so he grabbed some bobby pins. He messed with the lock until it finally clicked. When Sam opened the door he saw Dean backed into the corner, cowering away from the white and pink stick on the ground.
Jessica ran to Dean's side and hugged him while he cried, trying to calm his breathing and prevent a panic attack. Sam went over to the test on the ground and picked it up, looking at it curiously. When he saw the two lines he froze. This is why Dean threw up, why he's been acting more panicked and scared than usual.
When Sam looked to Dean he noticed his brother break even more. "..Dean..? What is this?" He asks softly and woefully.
Dean doesn't answer to Jess does it for him.
"Dean is, as you can see, pregnant.. and Dean believes that the baby is Luci-" Dean flinches. "His. He's scared that you'll.. leave him."
"What? No, Dean I wouldn't never leave you because of this," Sam frowns. "This is not your fault, you shouldn't think that we'd hate you."
"You might not, but C-Cas will.." He mumbles.
"What? No, Dean, Cas would not hate you for this." Sam explains. "He loves you so much. It's disgusting, really." Sam laughs lightly.
Dean starts calming down but his heart was still heavy with doubt. He doesn't believe his brother's words. He may think that Castiel wouldn't leave him, but he's not Castiel. How would he know? How well does Dean really know Castiel? He only met him at a coffee shop, had too many drinks one night, got pregnant with his kid, and now they're married. Yeah, he knows about his family and stuff but what if he was lying? What if Castiel let him get taken? What if this is all a setup?
Dean hadn't noticed his breathing speed up again, "Dean! Dean you need to calm down! Hey!"
His wide, scared eyes meet Sam's worried ones. "Dean. Come on, you need to sleep."
Dean nodded and let them lead him to a guest room. He passed out almost immediately, all this stress and crying made him really tired. When Sam and Jess left the room they spoke.
"We need to tell Cas."
—
The week was incredibly painful for Cas, he couldn't climax from himself alone. He needed Dean. He needed Dean but he couldn't have him, he couldn't use him like that. Especially from the recent occasions. He was so glad the week had finally ended. Once he had heard Dean leave the house with Sam he escaped the cold bathroom, making his way to the bed which smelled of Dean. He rolled his hips on the bed in an attempt to release but it did nothing.
He did that for days, being painfully hard and being unable to cum. He was so happy when it finally died down and his rut was over. He could see Dean again, he felt bad for throwing him at Sam. It's not his fault he has his mating cycles.
When he calls Sam saying he's coming over he notices the tension in Sam's voice. Had something happened with Dean? Cas drives over to his house and knocks on the door, seeing it open soon after and being met with a worried looking Sam.
"Thank you so much for taking care of them, I'm sorry I've been having you guys take care of them so much It's just—You understand right?"
"Uh-Yeah.."
"What's.. What's wrong?"
"It's uh.. It's Dean.."
"What about Dean? He's okay right?" Cas's voice had gotten harder and more commanding.
"He's.. He's not doing well, and-"
"Where is he?"
"In the guest room, but-"
Castiel wastes no time and makes his way to the room, opening the door quickly and running to Dean. He was shaking in his sleep, having another nightmare. He was mumbling things that Cas couldn't understand. The alpha kept running his back, calling his name softly to try and wake him up as calmly as he could.
"C-Ca.." He breathed out.
"Dean, Dean baby It's okay. I'm here you're okay,"
Dean woke up with a gasp after a couple more tries, whimpering when he looks to his right and see's Cas. The alpha tilts his head in confusion and continues to try and comfort his omega. Dean only tried to back away from him, curling into a ball and looking away from him. Castiel felt hurt and confused.
"..Dean? Dean, what is it?"
Dean opens his mouth to speak but closes it again instantly, feeling a sob start to creep up his throat. Sam knocks on the door softly to get Cas's attention. Castiel turns towards him.
"Cas we should talk."
"But Dean-"
"Yeah, I know. It's about Dean."
The alpha looks to Dean again, squeezing his hand in a way to say 'I'll be back' and leaves to see Sam and Jess. Once Dean was out of earshot they began taking.
"Dean has.. something going on, and he's afraid to tell you."
"What? What's wrong with him? Is he okay?" Castiel's voice breaks slightly. "Why is he afraid to tell me?"
"It's.. He's afraid you might not love him anymore, he's scared you'll.. leave him.." Jess says wearily.
Cas's eyes squinted painfully, why would he hate Dean? Why would Dean think he would ever hate him?
"Tell me what's wrong, please." Castiel pleaded.
"We can't. We think it'd be better if he told you himself."
Castie growled and walked back to the room, feeling a sting in his heart when he saw Dean still shaking, fearing for what Castiel might say. The alpha slowly walked up to Dean, setting a hand on his shoulder and another on his cheek. Castiel's worrying blue eyes gazed into Dean's miserable green ones.
"Dean, please tell me what's wrong." He says softly.
Dean can't help but lean into the touch, he has missed it so much. The gentle touch that the omega yearns for and loves, the only touch that can be given from his alpha Castiel. His breath shutters when the thought of never having it again crosses his mind. Cas lifts his head and wipes the tears from his cheeks.
"Tell me, please. I want to know how I can help. Please trust me." Cas feels his own tears start to show. "Please princess."
Dean starts crying again and wraps himself around Cas. If he is to leave him he wants to get as much of him as he can beforehand. The omega cries into his shoulder, holding Cas as much as he can. He feels his arms wrap around him, holding him tight as well. He wants to know what's destroying Dean, he needs to know. He needs to help his husband with whatever is going on. If it's affecting Dean, it's affecting Cas.
Dean was holding onto Cas like it was his last thin string of fate. His last grasp on keeping himself together. He inhaled the alpha's scent, it was more than like heaven to Dean. It calmed him down almost immediately.
Dean backed away from Cas, still holding onto him though, and looked into his eyes. He tried to contain his gaze but he just couldn't. He wanted to look into those beautiful blue eyes but he just couldn't. He wouldn't be able to handle it. The omega gulps and looks to the ground in shame.
"W-When h-he had me.. he.." He takes a deep breath. "He did stuff to me.. he s-started his r-rut.. a-and-"
Castiel brought him into a hug again, running his fingers through his hair and rubbing his back. He shushes him. "You don't have to continue Dean, I understand. It's okay. It will be okay".
"N-No that's not it.." Castiel pulls away and looks to him anxiously. "He didn't—He d-didn't use—" Dean started tearing up again. "Cas he-"
Castiel hugged him yet again, holding him tight and lovingly. He didn't want Dean to think he hated him. "It's alright. We can take care of it, princess, everything will be fine. I still love you, alright?"
Dean nods and sobs into his shoulder, just hoping and praying this would all just end.
"We'll go through this together, okay?" Castiel rubs his back, kissing the top of his head. "Now we need Jess to help you. We need to checkup on it, okay love?"
"But I don't want it.. it's not yours I-"
"Hey, it's okay. If you don't want it we don't have to keep it. At least let's take a look, alright?"
Dean nods and stays attached to Cas. The alpha picks Dean up and out of the room. He speaks softly, "We've agreed to take a look at it. Jess would you care to be our doctor?"
Jess smiles sadly, "Of course, come on."
—
gonna work on chapter 23 right after this is published! i hope y'all enjoy my constant updating, it's just that getting feedback really fuels me up. thank you all for the comments and votes!
[5/26/19]