The Forgiveness That I seek( Published)

Chapter 4

Next day as Urmila came out from her room, she saw her mother in law Sumitra standing as if waiting for her. She touched Sumitra's feet and Sumitra blessed her and asked how was she feeling. Urmila said she was fine trying her best to hide her tears. Sumitra gently wiped her daughter in law's tears and made her sit.

"Beti Urmila only today morning I came to know that Lakshman had stayed in his private room yesterday and is going out today with his brothers. I had gone to meet him. But unfortunately, they had left for the tour.

I understood my daughter Urmila will be distraught on the happenings of yesterday and came immediately to meet you.

Mila don't worry too much. Lakshman had missed his brothers and this city so much. You know right how much he loved to roam around the city in his horse. Also, he would have been very tired and may not be in a position to talk to you. Would have wanted rest, hence he might have gone to the private room.

You also need to understand he has been in the jungle for fourteen long years and it will take him some time to adapt to the palace culture once again. So, I would request my Mila to give my son some time. I am sure once coronation of Ram is done, he will come to you. Now please cheer up. There are lot of things to be completed for coronation and things in this palace won't move without Mila."

Urmila laughed hearing Sumitra's comment. She knew her mother in law loved her very much and had always stood by her during tough times and have always given sane advice. She understood maybe she misunderstood her husband and truth might be what her mother in law had told. Her husband needs some time to adapt. He needs some personal time to relax and also enjoy the city. She got up only to see her sisters Sita, Mandavi and Kirti walking towards her.

"Urmila you are fine right. The moment I heard Lakshman was in his private room I was worried for you," asked Sita her eyes showing concern.

"Didi I am perfectly alright. Ma have spoken to me. Now you are going to be the queen. So please take rest as we three of us look into the activities of Ram jeeju's coronation," commented Urmila. Before Sita could protest sisters made her sit and ordered the servants to bring their didi's favourtie breakfast. Meanwhile Kausalya too came and sat with Sita having small talk with her and joining the breakfast.

Once she left Sita didi with badi maa Urmila got busy with preparation for coronation. She, Mandavi and Kirti ran around supervising the preparations and soon Urmila forgot her personal worries.

Lakshman looked at the city of Ayodhya. Though he had come with Bharat and Shatrughna somewhere in between he had taken a different route and had come to the less populated area of the city. He had always loved that place. In that place there was a small hill. From the hill top it was a beautiful view to see the entire Ayodhya. From teenage years the hill top was his escapade whenever his mind was troubled. He used to have a tent at the foot of the hill and stayed there for some days till his turmoil got cleared.

Only Ram bhaiyya knew this place. He had not told anyone else about it. Whenever he went missing from the palace bhaiyya used to assure everyone not to be worried about him. Everyone trusted Ram bhaiyya and he used to get his solitude. He hoped this time also his brother will handle the turmoil of him gone missing.

He unmounted from the horse, set up the tent and then slowly walked up the hill. Night was falling as he reached the top. He could see the city slowly getting lighted up with lamps and the darkness disappearing. He looked up. It was a star lit night. As he looked at the stars once again, he remembered his wedding night.

He entered the fully decorated room and saw his bride sitting in the bed fully dressed, with a veil covering her face. A smile spread on his face as he walked upto her. He had fallen for Sita bhabi's sister the moment he had seen her. But he never believed the girl who captured his imagination will be his wife. Now looking at her he felt he had got all the happiness in his word.

He sat on the bed and gently lifted the veil. He could see she was sitting looking down trying to suppress a shy smile spreading on her lips. He lifted her face and softly called her Urmila and got an even softer whisper in response.

"Urmila do you love to look at stars" he whispered in her ears as he pulled her in his arms caressing her cheeks.

Urmila didn't tell anything and he repeated the question as he removed her nose ring and this time in a very soft voice Urmila replied she loved star lit sky.

"Urmila once the wedding festivities are over, I will take you to a place from where we can see the stars together."

Urmila kept her head on his chest and gave a silent approval as he removed her gajra and unlocked her hair.

This was the place he had wanted to bring her. He had wanted to spend time with her in the tent. But they never got the time. Before their marriage life could start properly the coronation mess happened and he went for vanvass. He never asked her permission when he took the decision. He never once thought how his new bride will adapt to the palace alone. At that time only Ram bhaiyya mattered to him and not her. He had left the girl to her bearings and had gone to accompany his brother.

Yes, he did the duty of a brother, but what about the duty of a husband. The question raised his ugly head in Lakshman's mind once again. From the hill top he walked towards the tent. He was not sure what he was feeling at that point. Shame, guilt. He only knew one thing. He was in no position to face Urmila. He had no right to claim his rights as a husband with her, while he didn't do the duty of the husband.

From the time he had entered the palace the servants had been talking about how dutiful bahu Urmila had been. How she had taken care of everyone. People only had good things to speak about her. But in return for all the good things she had done for his family he had given her only pain and tears. Lakshman didn't know when tears started flowing from his eyes an before he could realize he was weeping uncontrollably. He buried his head in the bed and allowed the tears to flow. He had to let out the pain to allow his wound to heal and if he needed to meet Urmila again.

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