The Virgin and the Whore

Chapter 12

My phone woke me up in the morning.

I answered with a groggy "hello?" too confused to look at the caller ID.

"I'm in town. We'll have lunch. Eleven sharp. My assistant will text you the info." And the call just ended.

"Hi grandpa, so nice of you to call. I'm doing amazing, thank you so much for asking," I mumbled, hiding under my covers. 

This wasn't surprising as far as interactions with my grandfather went. The old man was an eccentric self-centered bastard. Normality was really too much to ask when it came to any aspects of my life. 

"Whyyyyy are you taaaaaaalking?" Tyler whined beside me, "Am I dying? Did I have a heart attack? Am I dead?"

Speaking of abnormal things... I threw the covers off my face. "Tyler Grayson, I swear to god, there are more chances of me smothering you to death than of you dying in your sleep."

Tyler threw his pillow at me. "Wanna bet on that?"

"Go back to fucking sleep, you dweeb," I answered, hurling it back in his face.

Tyler got out of his bed, throwing himself over me. "Don't you looooooove meeeeeeeee?"

"What do you waaaant?" I whined, trying to push him off of me. It was waaaaaay too early for me to deal with clingy Tyler. 

"Isn't it obvious?" he said, trying to smother me. " YOUR LOOOOVE!"

"Jesus, I need a new roommate," I mumbled my face squished between my pillow and Tyler's chest.

"HOLD ME AND NEVER LET ME GO!"

There was a pounding at our door. "For the love of god, you guys knock it off!"

I took the distraction to push Tyler off of me, his fat ass hitting the ground in a loud thump. "The peasants have spoken," I announced, grinning at him.

"One of these days I'll break you and you'll give in," Tyler grinned back, crawling back in his bed.

I shook my head and hid it under my covers again. "I am ignoring you, you lunatic."

After an hour of uselessly rolling around my bed, I got out, put some clothes on and went to hunt for coffee after slapping two nicotine patches on my arm. I was going to need as much help as I could if I was going to survive a lunch with my grandfather. 

I took my sweet time getting ready, to make sure Grandpa had nothing to complain about. It was the weekend so I didn't have classes and I didn't have plans.

When I was mildly satisfied with how I looked, I set off to the restaurant. 

I was kind of worried. I never knew what to expect with my grandfather. He was a two face bitch. I mean, lovely man, but he wasn't above stabbing you in the face just for the sheer look of surprise you would make. 

I was there fifteen minutes earlier but the old man was already waiting for me when I got there.

"Grandpa," I said, greeting him. 

The old geezer smiled at me, opening his arms wide for a hug. "Seventh in line for my succession."

I raised an eyebrow. "Seventh?"

"Gotta keep you on your toes," he replied, grabbing me for that hug. After two slaps on my back, he let me go, and we both got to our seats. "How are you doing son?"

I looked at the utensils and glasses on the table, smoothing out the tablecloth. "I would be a whole lot better if you asked me to lunch like a normal person."