The Emperor's Assassin

Five

I stumbled into the bedroom and found Pricilla asleep on the sofa, one arm flung across the cushion.

"Pricilla!" I threw myself on her, burrowed my face in her neck, and soaked her skin with my tears.

"He can't be that bad." Pricilla stroked my back.

"He...he..." I sobbed and gasped for air, my voice lost to pain and humiliation.

Pricilla tugged on my soiled clothes and pulled a leaf from my messed hair. "Did he rape you?"

Rape. That single word loosened my voice. Justified my hate and shame. I told Pricilla everything. Each repugnant detail.

"My life is over. No kindness. No children. No love." My dreams for the future scattered like dry leaves in the wind. I pulled Mother's pearls over my head and threw them on the bed. "I should have bit off his earlobe! Scratched out his eyes. Ran away. I didn't. I couldn't. I had no choice." I tore off my bracelets and hurled them across the room.

"We all have choices, Locusta." Pricilla ran her fingers through my hair. "You chose to submit to your future husband. You did what you thought was right, but I'll make certain he never treats you that way again."

"How? Are there plants for suppressing male urges? What if he suspects? Or his impotence makes him more violent? No." I shook my head. "I must learn to endure."

"You want a life of pain, humiliation, and subservience? You resign yourself to this unhappy destiny? Don't you remember my stories of ill-fated women? Not only will you never experience the wonders of a loving intimacy, you'll be denied children. This is acceptable? Locusta, this is only the beginning! His actions tonight are merely a small taste of the marital suffering and degradation to come. He may be old, but it seems he's still vigorous in his sexual demands."

I burst into hot tears. "What recourse do I have? I can't slip your herbal potions into his drinks every day for the rest of his life."

"You're right. He'll suspect something." Pricilla's finger tapped her lips, her gaze faraway. Until one corner of her mouth curved upwards. "Take off these clothes. Wash his cruelty and filth from your body. After that, purify your spirit with offerings to the gods and goddesses." She touched my cheek. "Faustinus stole your virginity and fouled your idea of passionate love. Don't let him take your strength here." She tapped my head. "And here." Curling my hand in hers, she set both over my heart. "Don't let him destroy your capacity for love and truth. Never give anyone that power over you."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and on trembling legs let Pricilla lead me down the dark hall that hours ago echoed my joy.

"You're wrong, Pricilla. A man like that will be determined to break me. Mind, body, and soul. He could forbid me from reading, from gardening...from you."

"Most certainly." Pricilla pushed aside the drapery to the baths.

"How am I supposed to remain strong?" I tore off my stola.

"You will and you must." Pricilla lit the smallest lamp.

"How? I have only one option. I must learn to appease him." I sank into the hottest pool. Its heat soothed my skin but not my spirit.

"I'll be back." Pricilla adjusted the palla over her shoulders.

"Now? Don't leave me. What if he comes in here?"

Pricilla crouched at the pool's edge. "I need to gather a certain plant."

"Why?"

"To make a tonic that will vomit a man's seed from a woman's womb."

I clutched my belly. "You've made it before?"

"The village women ask for it often." Pricilla stood and poked her head around the drapes. "Do you want a servant to guard the entrance?"

"Get two." I looked toward the linden tree. I could always climb out the window to escape. This time I wouldrun.

"I'll be back soon," said Pricilla.

I moved to the far side of the pool, my eyes trained on the entrance, and waited. Moments later I heard two servants murmur behind the drapery. I sighed with relief. Now I just needed a plan to postpone the marriage ceremony.

I could pretend to be sick, become hysterical, or run away. But to fake a sickness for months was not believable. Neither was hysterics. And there was nowhere to run.

Would Father and Aunt Diana believe me if I told them the truth? They ought to. I never lied to them.

I glanced at the entrance. What was taking Pricilla so long? Locusta's Oasis, the small plot of land where we grew herbs and flowers was not far from the villa. I should have gone with her. Helped pinch off buds or dig up roots. Waiting made me anxious. Besides, the garden, with its straight rows, verdant hues, and savory scents always made me happy.

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Thank you for reading.

THE EMPEROR'S ASSASSIN releases October 1.