I Need You - Biadore (COMPLETED)

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Adore's P.O.V.
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Today is the day of my father's funeral. I just feel...numb. I can't feel anything. I don't know what to do. I've never lost anybody in my life. I cancelled a few of of my gigs to be with my mom. Even though they weren't together anymore, it still broke her heart when she found out that he had passed. She's been there for me from the very beginning, it was about time I returned the favor.
Me and Roy are getting ready for the funeral and it's just silence. Roy has tried talking to me about it, but I just didn't know how to. Me and Roy have had a lot of personal talks, but this one was different. It was the only thing I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about. All of the S6 girls have given me their condolences, but I didn't respond to any of them. I just don't feel like myself.
"It's time to go, babe." Roy says, placing his hand in my shoulder.
"Okay."
We arrive at the cemetery and I just can't look at anyone's faces. I just keep my head down, and listen to the priest talk.
"We are gathered here today to say farewell to Mr. Noriega. He is survived by his 4 children. God, we thank you for the life that you give us. It is full of work and of responsibility, of sorrow and joy Today we thank you for Mr. Noriega, for what he has given and received. Help us in our mourning and teach us to live for the living in the time that is still left to us. Thank you for eternal life that can give light and joy to our days and years already here on earth. God, we thank you for your Son, Jesus Christ. Help us to see that it is he who opens the gate to the life that shall never die."

It is now my turn to speak. I walk up to the podium and just speak from the heart.

"My father...wasn't always the best role model growing up. He didn't like that I was feminine, or that I liked girl things. He once said that he was embarrassed of me. And that really stuck with me. It really fucked my confidence up. I will never forget what my father has said to me, but I will say this:"

I turn to my father's picture next to his casket.

"Dad, I forgive you. I forgive the hurtful things you have said to me, I forgive your actions towards me, I forgive you for everything. After all, you're only human. Yes, you've made mistakes, but we've all made mistakes. Hell, I've made plenty. And although you will never hear this, I love you. Forever and always. Goodbye."

My father's casket begins to lower in the ground, and it's only then that it finally hits me. He's gone. He's actually gone. Oh god, I can't breathe. I rush out of the cemetery gates, and lean on the side of the building, trying to catch my breath again. Roy comes running after me, and pulls me into his arms.
"He-He's really gone." I repeat, crying into his chest.
"I know. It's okay. I've got you."

-1 week later-

I still haven't really faced the reality that my father is gone. I've just kind of been pushing it aside. I've been fucked up for a month. I've been depressed. I've been eating a lot, and it's starting to show. I've also been more dependent on weed than I have ever been in my life. I know I need to stop, but I can't. I've tried, but I just end up smoking even more.

All of a sudden my phone rings and it's an unknown number. I answer it.

"Hello?" I ask.
"Hi, is this Adore Delano?"
"You've got her right here. What's up?"
"I am one of the producers of RuPaul's Drag Race. We are calling queens and asking how they would like to do All Stars 2. You interested?" My heart drops. Out of ALL of the times they could film, it had to be during this time. I know I shouldn't go, I KNOW I shouldn't do it.

"I'll do it."
"Great! I'll let the production team know."
"Okay, talk to you later!"

I hang up the phone and Roy walks into the room.

"Who was that?"
"It was Drag Race. They asked me to do All Stars."
"Oh. Well you obviously said no."
I look down at my hands, not able to tell Roy that I said yes.
"You said no.....right?" Roy asks, looking concerned.
All I can do is shake my head.
"Danny! You know you can't handle that amount of pressure right now, ESPECIALLY at a time like this."
"I know, but it might help me, being distracted from all of this shit going on right now."
"Danny-"
"I'm doing it Roy! It's already decided."
"You're going to regret it." Roy tells me, before leaving the room.

The producer calls me back a few hours later.

"Hey! So we have the entire cast picked out, and we have a hotel for all of you."
"When should I start packing?"
"We start filming in two days, so either tonight or tomorrow morning. You also have to drive to the hotel by tomorrow afternoon."
"Party! I'll see you tomorrow then." I hang up the phone. I'm actually doing this. There's no turning back now.