Chapter Eighteen

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I stared at her curled up form, my heart pounding in my throat. I hadn't expected that. I had been so angry with her. So angry that she refused to try that I hadn't even thought of why she wasn't trying. I thought she was being stubborn, that she was spoiled. I never thought it would have been that.

Twenty-nine rejections.

I felt like an asshole. An undeniable asshole, yet I couldn't find the courage to go over there and comfort her. I had suffered one rejection and had sworn off mates. One rejection and she had survived twenty-nine of them. It was no wonder she was being as difficult as she was. She didn't know what to do, how to trust our bond like I did. The one thing that we had in this world to bring us happiness among the death and the blood and it had only ever been used to hurt her. I had used it to hurt her. Unknowingly or not, I had hurt her with it.

I didn't know what to say to her because of it. What could I say? There was nothing because sorry was an empty word and 'I apologize' was just as empty. I took a step towards her before running my hand through my hair. Her shoulders shook and she held her knees tightly. She looked frail. My cat looked frail and I had made her look like that. Guilt slammed into my gut and crawled into my chest, constricting my lungs, twisting at my organs. I shouldn't have dropped that on her when she was sick but she had made me so angry and hurt that I wanted her to feel it too.

Wrong? Michael's slightly worried voice entered my head. I had sent him and Kiel out to run a quick patrol. They were getting restless after Shey refused them entry into her room. I figured it was better to send them on a run than to deal with broken furniture.

I made Shey cry. I winced at the words. I had. I had made my mate cry and that was inexcusable, no matter my reason. I took another step towards her before I hesitated again. I wasn't even sure if she wanted the comfort that I needed to give her. There was a faint whispering in my head to fix what I had done. To soothe over the hurt and get rid of the tears.

Fix before I kick ass. There was an edge of warning to the words and I knew better than to doubt him. If I didn't make it better Micheal, and most likely Ezekiel, would kick my ass. I pushed all the doubts and hesitation away before I walked the rest of the way and quickly picked her up before she could protest. I held my breath, waiting for the inevitable 'Don't touch me!' that she always hissed at me. To my surprise, her arms wrapped around me and she buried her face into my neck. The quiet sobbing shook her and I shushed her gently before quickly making my way out of the office.

She hadn't shoved me away, hadn't told me off or insulted me. She had wrapped her arms around me and sought out comfort. I wasn't sure if she had given into the bond at that moment or if she had been so lonely that any comfort was wanted. That thought made the guilt eat away at me more. I carried her towards her room but slowed down. Until I was certain her room and bedding had been washed I didn't want to put her where there was a possibility that her sickness would be prolonged.

There was another spare bedroom and I shifted her in my arms slightly before making my way towards it. I carried her past her bedroom and Shey wiggled in my arms before pushing against my chest. I nearly dropped her and my breath hitched in my throat before I quickly set her down. She took in deep shuddering breaths before wiping at her eyes. She kept her gaze on the floor and heaved out another breath before slowly backing away from me. My wolf growled at the action. He wanted her back where we could protect her, comfort her but I clenched my hands into fists. I had no right to do that, especially after dumping everything on her like I had.

She sniffled and hugged her stomach before backing up several more steps and then moved around me, walking back down the hall. I turned and watched her intently as she coughed before stopping in front of my bedroom door. I frowned in confusion before my eyes widened as she opened the door and went inside. I stared at the spot she had occupied before I slowly moved towards my bedroom.

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