Love in the Time of the Pandemic: A LitArtHub Flash Fiction Collection

Weak Heart by Nitz Tan

I finish another day of facing my greatest fears. A part of me should be used to the fact that I'm dealing with a pandemic. The enemy is invisible and I have to treat even the untreatable. This time I'm not allowed to make mistakes. I should be able to think of others before I think of myself—even when the majority have lost all hope. Sometimes I wonder what really kills the patient: the virus, or the negativity that comes with it.

I remove my sweat-soaked PPE when my shift ends and proceed to the sanitation area from the ICU. Since most of my patients are in critical condition, staying there has become common. It's a good thing that I'm not thirsty and have an empty bladder before suiting up the PPE.

As I walk along the corridors, I can already imagine how my apartment would smell when I cook instant noodles. That had been my routine for the past couple of months. Go home, instant noodles for dinner, then sleep. I wake up the following day to prepare for another shift and do the same routine all over again.

I drop by the counter to get a drink before I gather my things and go home.

"Liv," somebody calls my name. I turn, and it's Rebecca, a nurse from the pediatric section.

A pang of irritation hits me. What is it this time?

"What?" I respond, trying to conceal my impatience.

"Another rough day, huh?" she asks. I shrug. "I need a favor. Can you stay here behind the counter for a while? I really have to check on a patient," she said.

I nod and wave my hand while I drink my water. Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to stay for a while.

She hurries away as soon as she gets the go signal. The swivel chair creaks as I settle behind the counter. I'm exhausted and I want to go home. There are three people in this area including me, whom I'm sure want the same thing as I do. I mean, we all deserve a break.

"Hello?" A small voice suddenly calls out from the other side of the counter.

I sit up, but couldn't see anyone. So, I stand up to check who it is. A little girl in a hospital gown was looking up at me.

"Oh no, a COVID patient," was my first thought.

"Oh my God, how d'you get out?" I ask her. I can hear the fear in my voice.

"I'm looking for Mommy," she replies.

Mommy? Does she know that she's not allowed to have visitors? Even her mommy?

"Your mommy is not here and you're not allowed to have visitors," I admonish.

I reach for a pair of gloves and face mask. After putting them on, I take another set for the patient.

"Wait, Miss Nurse. Is that why she hasn't visited me for a long time?" she asks, probably noticing my panicked movements.