12. The Cute Boy Fan Page

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Ming could hardly concentrate during the Moon and Star activities for the day. He was still feeling strangely happy about his dinner with P'Kit last night. He had decided to keep it simple and take Kit to one of his favorite noodle places near the campus. Was Kit cranky? Of course. But Ming didn't let that stop him. In fact, he blatantly asked him why he was so mean.

"P, can I ask you a question?" Ming looked at him as he set down his eating utensils. Kit was still looking around and glaring at all the girls that were staring at Ming, which Ming seemed to be completely oblivious to.

"If you must." Kit replied flatly, finally turning to face his food again. How could Ming just ignore so much attention?

"Why do you pretend to hate everyone?"

Kit frowned. "I don't pretend to hate everyone."

"Okay...then...why do you pretend to hate me?"

Kit swallowed his food and looked up at Ming. He didn't know how to answer that question, really. He didn't hate Ming. He didn't hate him at all. The truth was, he didn't know how he felt about Ming. He just knew that Ming made him feel weird. He felt jealous that Ming was so tall, so handsome and so confident in himself. He got the attention of girls without ever even trying. His smile was pleasant, his teeth were perfect, he was nice to everyone, including strangers. And lastly, no matter how mean Kit was to him, he kept coming back. 

The only people that had ever shown such persistence with him was Phana and Beam and they had been friends since middle school. But the way he felt towards Ming still felt different than how he felt towards Phana and Beam. For one thing, Phana and Beam didn't make his heart speed up and his stomach jump around like crazy. They didn't make him feel embarrassed. They didn't make him feel nervous. They didn't make him want to run away. They just didn't make him feel the strange things he felt when Ming was around. It was so weird that Kit just couldn't keep his attitude in check about it which made it seem like he hated Ming.

"...I don't hate you." Kit said quietly, looking back down at his noodles. Ming stared at Kit for a while and tilted his head to the side as if he was trying to understand him.

"I just..." Kit opened his mouth to say more but trailed off. There was no way he was going to tell Ming that he made him nervous. So, what should he say? "Why do you want to talk to me? If you think I'm so mean, why do you keep coming back?"

Ming sat back and blew some air out his cheeks. "Well...I don't think you really are mean. It's like I asked, why do you pretend?"

"...." Kit still didn't know what to say. Pretend? He wasn't pretending. Every action he had ever done or shown towards Ming had always been how he was truly feeling in that moment. Annoyed. Anxious. Shy. The list goes on...

"You're mean to me, but then you help me. You run away from me, but then you help me again." Ming rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward, his full attention on Kit. "Why?"

 "Why?"

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