Chapter Eighteen

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Realizing that I wasn't going to get any sleep anyway, I gave up and just decided to wait till it was time to get ready for school

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Realizing that I wasn't going to get any sleep anyway, I gave up and just decided to wait till it was time to get ready for school. In the meantime, I planned to do some research. 

I opened my laptop and sat on my bed, trying to find out any information that I could about Stargardt's. Like Ace had said, the severity differed from person to person, and there was virtually no way to find out what exactly was his level of severity. I searched some images, trying to read up what issues it can cause, trying to get into Ace's head. To understand what he was going through. To understand how the world would change for him so maybe  I could help him through it. 

I found a few videos that left me feeling slightly optimistic. People with a condition similar to Ace's describing their own experience. My heart broke when I realized how much Ace had really been hiding. The entire catastrophic diagnosis, the eye examinations, the fear, the loneliness. 

I tried not to dwell on it, my heart hollowed every time I realized that he had consciously decided not to let me partake in his sadness. Not to share his pain. Was it because he was scared? Ashamed? No way he would be so stupid. 

I sighed and shut my laptop after a while, my head buzzing with information. The more I read about it, the more optimistic I felt. Was  I being stupid? Maybe. 

A few hours later, I dressed up and stood outside my house. My heart fluttered when I saw Ace's car making its way towards me. He stopped near where I was standing and grinned at me. 

"Oh hey, I haven't seen you since an hour."

I shook my head, my cheeks burning again as the memories flooded back and I quietly slipped into the passenger seat. We drove silently to school and I  leaned against the window, gazing at the passing scenery which suddenly looked more beautiful than I ever remembered. 

And maybe I was imagining it, but Ace seemed to be in a much better mood throughout the day as well. He laughed more easily, smiled genuinely and even seemed to be trying to pay attention in class. Something that for once I couldn't bring myself to do seeing that I spent ninety per cent of my time staring at him instead. 

During break, we were sitting on the school grounds under the bright sunlight. I knew the bright light was likely to hurt his eyes, but wasn't going to bring it up unless he did. 

He complained about how much more demanding primary school has become now than it was when we were in it. I couldn't help but grin at his salty bitter-person behaviour as he rambled on about some project Allie had got. I was happy that in spite of everything, he was acting normally with me, albeit a little more affectionate. The awkwardness was slowly ebbing away and I realized maybe doing it again wouldn't be such a bad idea. Before I could offer my proposal, however, his phone buzzed and he reached for it. 

His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the phone, his skin quickly losing all its colour. Icy claws clenched my heart. 

"Ace?"

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