there was no doubt that she liked it. the grousome aspects of it all thrilled her. much like her mother, Elle wanted to be a victim. And much like her mother, her sanity wasn't promised. Elle - I craved anything dubious, angry, and hungry for my unraveling. I devoured attention like it was my birthright. I needed to please this dark pit inside of me. I grew aware of my perversion while in my senior year of finishing school. The booze, the sex, and the competitiveness of graduating class, the spiraling started at a quicker pace. I seemed to be spinning upward this time, I wasn't bored pulling at loose threads to help me feel.alove all of the libeeliness was happemigm.aroumd.me.and it took no energy to be placed right in the middle.of it Being scared made it even more thrilling, and I had pushed harder than ever before to have a chance to feel like this. i wasn't going to let anything get in my way. not the meds, not the competition, not the forced therapy and, sure as hell, not my incessant thoughts of self-damnation. I was finally in the running - let the climb to the throne begin.