Pride Tears | Dean Thomas

08

promise

  Two weeks later Dean found himself sitting on the windowsill of that corridor, gazing at the Forbidden Forest in the afternoon light.

He let out a breath, and with one last look he turned away from the window. In his hands, a charcoal pencil detailed the woods; there was a clearing in the middle. A figure stood there, a girl, her long hair moving with a west wind, covering her face. But he could recognize her eyes everywhere.

The figure clutched a wand firmly on her right hand; the fire on her gaze was evident. She was ready to battle. Her robes moved with the wind as well. They were plain, nothing fancy. But if you looked close enough, you could see a flame pattern on the bottom. It was a black and white drawing; he didn't trust himself to lie about the colour of her hair.

"It's beautiful." A soft voice spoke, one he thought would never hear.

"Thanks..." he muttered. He thought for second, and then added. "I thought I would never see you again."

He had walked down the corridor that Sunday night, he didn't wait or called. But he knew that she wouldn't show.

Adele smiled softly and looked away in shame. "I told you that you would, but never said when."

Dean couldn't help his grin. "Like a true Slytherin. I should have seen that coming." He chuckled for the first time in days. "My bad."

She returned the smile, gliding closer. "Yes, you should have." Her smile faded a bit. "Still... I am sorry for not showing up. I... ", for a moment she stood silent."I was afraid."

He stared at her, why would she be afraid? The confusion must have been all over his face because Adele started to talk again. "I told you my story, and showed you the guilt chains that I've made through the years I've... existed. And I know you are right, but I'm not human anymore. I'm not alive... but I'm not dead. Pride and guilt... my feelings tie me down, is the price I pay for rejecting Death."

"I thought after that you would probably never understand... That you would be angry at me or... that you would agree with me... blame me..."

Dean left the drawing in the windowsill and turned to face Adele. "You're so confusing. You tell me it's your entire fault, but you know it isn't, yet you believe it but you don't want me to." She stared but nodded. "Why you girls are so complicated?" He rolled his eyes.

"I won't blame you; I stand by what I said that night. If we start blaming people, we would never end. If's are useless." Dean stoop up to his full height but kept his eyes on hers. "But I accept your guilt; I accept that you feel that way. You know why?"

She shook her head slowly. "Why...?"

"Because we all have the power to change the world for worst or better, we all do. I thought a lot, you know?" he wet his lips. "And thinking about ifs, I realized... what if I hadn't fought? They would have won... but... I can't explain it correctly without sounding pretentious."

Adele chuckled behind her hand. He smiled, and continued.

"I thought, maybe they wouldn't. I did my part in the war and before that... I guess. Seamus, Neville, Ginny... Damn it, even Filch! Everyone had a role, a little action. And yeah, maybe Harry was the big deal but we all did something."

Dean finished and waited for Adele to say something. She had lowered her hand, a smile on her lips.

"Yes, you did. You all did. Small or big, it helped."

"So... following that line of thinking I... realized something else." Adele tilts her head. "Well I just said that actions count, doesn't matter how simple they seem at the moment... so... there was another reason for me not to cry."

He took a breath. "I thought... that since I hadn't lost that much, in comparison to other I shouldn't be complaining..."

"Idiot." She shook her head, clicking her tongue.

"I know." He smiled. "Even if my losses are small compared to others, they are loses anyway... and they are important, at least to me. I should cry them... or draw them."

"And I also know that I can't ask you to do the same... but I want you to promise me something."

Adele looked curious and waited for Dean's words.

"Don't hide anymore."

She bit her lower lip, unsure about her answer. "If you do, I promise you that I would never bottle up my feeling again, and I won't let anyone I know do it. And... if you let me... I would tell your story."

Adele didn't know what to think. She wasn't bound to the castle so she could just leave if she wanted to, she could promise him not to hide but leave. She would be visible, but she wouldn't be there. But the light she was starting to see on Dean's eyes made her take a decision.

She had helped him. She made it. She tried it. She did it.

And maybe it wouldn't be always like that. She could encounter mean students; she knew she could save them all.

His last words sunk in. If her story was told, she knew what to expect, what question will be asked.

Some may understand others... maybe not. She had been a ghost too long, wasn't she ready to be known as one?

Was she ready for it?

Yes.

"I promise."