[ boyxboy ]
Lennon Lewis doesn't feel quite alright. He is slowly but surely reaching for the stars with his rock band and is adored by everyone who meets him. He should be happy. But he's either too high or too low. The sweet relief is only tempora...
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William is that 'nothing' when people ask him what he is thinking about.
It's been a few days now that he hasn't heard of him. Lennon definitely doesn't want to call him anymore, there is no point. He decides he will just distract himself but all he's done is drink. He drinks so he can just pass out and then sleep. He sleeps so they can meet again in dreams.
He barely leaves his flat. Nate is usually there, doing nothing as well. At times they will pick up their guitars. Nate would twist his fingers in all sorts of odd shapes to form chords, Lennon would join him. His gentle humming would fill the living room, then he would write some words down on a used cardboard KFC bucket that was left on the coffee table.
Jorja complains at times but mostly gives up and joins them when they light a joint. When pressure is too much, almost like a ticking bomb, he needs to let it explode somewhere safe. That's why he has Nate. That's why Nate has Lennon. Liam used to be there too until he moved to New York. So when he needs to vent, Nate is there. Lennon gets to yell his lungs out and be a crass asshole of fury if necessary and Nate sips his beer and nods in the right places. Nate would ask him if he is ready for his perspective and if he is, Lennon will keep drinking, otherwise the shouting starts again. His job is to tell Lennon how he thinks the other side likely felt in his stories, tone Lennon down rather than egg him on. Sometimes Nate is right, sometimes he's way off. Nate's just the same, he calls Lennon, he vents, Lennon listens. They don't gossip, no one knows his secrets or Nate's. Sometimes just getting that rage out is the best thing he can do. Because rage is what he feels at this moment, rage towards himself. It is a torment he was not prepared for.
"So, are you going to call him already or you'll just continue sulking?" Nate asks at one point not turning his head away from the TV screen. Lennon looks at him confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"This guy you like."
"How do you know I like a guy? I don't like a guy."
The nausea swirls unrestrained in Lennon's stomach, his heart feels as it's struggling to keep a steady beat. His melancholy mood hangs over him like black cloud, he knows the feeling, he's been there before, but not for this reason.
"You wrote a lyric about missing him. Right there. " Nate points his finger on the words Lennon wrote on a piece of cardboard.
"I don't miss him." Lennon gives up, looking at the TV, not actually paying attention .
"Right."
"It's just..." Lennon wants to put his feelings into words but he doesn't know how. Apparently he could only write them down.
"Is the sex good?" Nate asks with a smug look on his face.
"Good? He fucked my brains out all night, I think I actually passed out at one point. Oh and then he got me off in the cinema." Lennon's skin shivers at the memory as he shamelessly admits this to his friend.
