Factory Reset | ✓

cry

Mira was right.

All this time — everything she said — it was all right.

The full weight of what happened hit me harder than I expected it to. It started as a sudden shock and then waves of emotions kept hitting me faster than the water returning to the beach. There was no room for rational thought anymore. Emotions overflowed me until I felt suffocated.

It happened. It really did happen. We all tried to... stop existing. Four of us went in that car and drove into the ocean, but only two of us survived. Only two of us still lived. Only Mira and I.

Why had I pushed her away like that? Why did I let my doubts get in the way? She was clearly trying to help me. She only wanted the best for me. She cared for me in a way I didn't deserve.

For all I knew, she was the only one I had in this world. She was the only person to care that deeply about me. And what did I do to her? I left her. I ran away like the coward I was. Maybe she was better off without— no. She wouldn't want me to think like that. She wanted me to be happy.

I had to see her again, I decided. I had to tell her I remembered. I had to tell her I wanted to go with her. I wanted to be close with her again and feel her warmth. I wanted her to hold me in her arms again, and tell me everything was okay. I wanted to believe that we could have a future.

Even as my legs started to burn, I ran out of my room, hoping that I'd find her again.

▬▬▬

The first place I checked was the garden. It was the last place I saw Mira, and everything I knew about losing something was to check the last place you saw it. But maybe that didn't work with losing a person. Maybe that didn't work when you were the one who ran away from them.

She probably went back to her room. There wasn't anywhere else to go here. There wasn't that much to do. Even if we could walk freely at this fake hotel, the fact we couldn't leave made it a prison. A prison wasn't just a cell with bars around it. A prison was anywhere you couldn't leave.

By the time I made it back to Mira's room, it was too late.

Clothes and various other items littered the ground, but there was no sign of Mira. By the mess of things, it looked like she didn't leave by choice. Someone must have taken her out of there.

I looked around for any clues as to where she could be but found none. Then I spotted a piece of paper on the desk. It was covered with messy handwriting as if the person who wrote it was in a hurry. After staring blankly for a few seconds, I realized that Mira signed her name at the bottom.

No matter what happens, I love you.
- Mira

Clutching the note to my chest, I fell to my knees, not caring how much it hurt. Nothing hurt more than the emotions swirling around in my head like a tsunami steadily gaining power. Emotions that kept gaining more and more energy until finally, I couldn't hold it back anymore.

I cried.

For the first time in a long time, I really cried.

It felt like everything within me was finally getting released — all of the pain and suffering I went through. Even if I couldn't remember it all, I could still let myself feel my feelings. And right now, I felt a lot of things — so many things. It was overwhelming, but I realized that it was okay.

As ugly as emotions were, it was what made me human, so I let myself cry. I cried because of what happened. I cried because of the pain I felt that pushed me to try to leave this world. I cried because of losing Mira. I cried because of all the things I couldn't remember but would remember.

Emotions needed an outlet and no matter how hard you tried to forget, you'd always remember. Even if the memories became just an echo of what it was, the feelings still existed.

So, I let myself cry in the hopes that by doing so, I'd be able to find a way to move on.