Meaning of Hope

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Warning: This chapter discusses physical abuse which some people may find triggering

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Warning: This chapter discusses physical abuse which some people may find triggering.

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"Some memories never leave your bones.
Like salt in the sea; they become part of you.
And you carry them.
~ Unknown

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I'm running. As fast as I can and as far as my plaid Sperry shoes will carry me because if I run fast enough maybe, just maybe, I can outrun all the bad stuff that has happened to me the last six months.

I can't believe my mother.

And I can't believe I never noticed.

My dad showed up at the house this afternoon to take my brother and I for the weekend. My parents had separated over Christmas break and are currently in a custody battle over us. Neither I nor my little brother, Alex, wanted to go with dad this weekend though. Alex was already at a sleep over he'd begged mom to let him go to and I have a big history project I need to finish before Monday. Honestly, I think we both had an unpleasant time the last time we went to visit him, but our excuses seemed innocent enough.

Until mom and dad started fighting and my dad started yelling at me to 'get my shit and get in the car'. Mom stepped in-between us and told him I didn't have to go if I didn't want to, that he was being overbearing. The slap that followed ricocheted through the house and rang in my ears. I gasped and bolted for the stairs not believing what I'd just witnessed. When I reached my room I slammed the door and locked it before placing myself in front of it as if I was strong enough to stop a grown 6'2 man from coming through it if he wanted to.

Mom and dad continued to scream and yell and I thanked God Alex wasn't there to witness it. Finally, the front door closing reverberated through the house. I walked the seven strides to the window in the darkened room to watch my father climb back into his Range Rover and peel out of the driveway at a speed that couldn't possibly have been sane. I'd stared at where his car had been until there was a knock on my door and turned to stare at my door instead, sinking to the floor to lean against the wall under my window.

"Alessandra?" My mothers voice cracked as she spoke.

I didn't respond and neither did she, but her quiet sobs were response enough as I'd closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall praying this would all just go away.

After a good fifteen minutes I'd gotten up the courage to open the door. No one was on the other side. I made my way to the master bedroom to find my mother sitting on the floor by the bed crying. Her cheek was swollen and parts were still red while other parts were starting to bruise. I went to her and hugged her.

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