Seven Minutes From Heaven [bxb]

Chapter 20 - Floodgates

TW: Sexual assault/DV. Read at your own discretion. If you want to skip this chapter, scroll to the bottom and I'll give you PG flash rundown. 

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Liam stopped a little way from my house and watched me walk the rest of the way until I was at my door. He texted me goodnight as I turned my key and entered inside, and I turned to watch him leave. The lights were off inside, but mum's music was blasting from inside her bedroom. I knew it was up loud, but the rooms were decently soundproofed so Josh and I would hardly mind it. I responded goodnight, then I locked up behind me and slowly, quietly headed for my room. I didn't want mum or Josh to hear me come in.

I didn't know what Liam really wanted from me, but whatever it was, I wanted to give it to him. Even after his shoddy and embarrassing attempt to catch my attention today, I couldn't say no. I was weak towards him, even if I didn't want to be. And the surprising part was, every bollock point he raised made complete sense. It's like he knew God better than mum did, or the church did, without knowing a thing about him. Their teachings completely shrouded how good God is, and somewhere in the process, I'd forgotten about that, too.

After our little chat about love and friendship, I felt oddly at peace for once.

Even now when I thought about dad, and how ridiculous he found our beliefs and refused to engage with them, my usual crippling fear of him burning in hell had managed to reduce to a single niggle of doubt. Dad put up with mum's unhinged behaviour for years because he loved her, and me. When he'd finally left, it's because I told him that it was okay. That I'd be fine. He spent all that time trying to convince me to go with him, but I needed the connection with God that only mum could provide.

Even if it meant enduring the ongoing torment from Josh.

Thinking about dad just now, I wanted to talk to him. Just to say hello, or I love you, or I'm sorry for pressuring you and trying to make you feel bad. The way Liam enlightened me just then, I realised I had so much to be sorry, and grateful for. Because even though I'd become an extension of mum, he didn't give up on loving me. My dad truly loved me. I knew that much. And right now, I missed him.

Pulling my phone back out and using it as my only source of light while I typed dad's name, I crept into my bedroom and pulled my door shut as gently and quietly as possible. No sooner did the door latch did a hand grab the scruff of my neck and throw me on my bed. I yelped as my head buried into my duvet cover, and somebody forced my hands behind my back.

This person: were they the same one who entered my room last time?

It felt like someone's knee was digging into the back of my leg, applying painful pressure to the spot that'd definitely bruise. I groaned and wriggled, trying to get myself free.

"It hurts!" I regretted not turning my light on instantly. "Who is it? What're you doing?"

"Been off with ya little gay lover, have ya?" I heard Josh's cruel, blood curdling whisper, mixed with his hot breath and cold wet lips against my ear. Every cell and circuit within my body froze with crippling fear, while I anticipated just what he'd do next. He lifted his head away from my ear, and I could hear the humour in his voice when he said, "Just wait till mum hears about this. She's gonna love it, don't ya reckon?"

Something about those words finally sparked my body into action. He was always harassing me, always antagonising me. I wasn't a stranger to his stupid impulses. No matter how creative he got with his stupid antics, he always seemed to stick to one consistent outcome: that he never truly hurt me. This time would be no different.

"You're outta your mind," I wailed into the duvet, wriggling my wrists to try and escape his grasp. I craned my neck so that my head wasn't pressed into the bed. "Who's gay? Why does having a friend for the second time in my life make me gay?"