36. platonic soulmates

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"I can't fucking believe this day is here," Olivia practically jumped out of my bed the morning of our A level results. Since she was young, all she ever wanted to do was move away and study Forensic Psychology. She had a reason to be anxious or even excited about today, unlike me.

I had never been set on what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I wanted to be a teacher; it was the only thing I ever really thought I could be. But the future didn't cross my mind much anymore. I had applied to the local teaching college for a deferred year. No matter what my grades turn out like I needed a break from school, so I was definitely taking a gap year. Maybe a gap life.

I wondered would it be so bad to stay here and work a 9-5 job for the rest of my life, without going to uni. It didn't sound that bad. If only I had all my friends in the same town. Olivia would be moving away, Hannah wanted to work abroad for a year, Cliodhan and Sean would be going down south, meaning James and Mark would be my only two left. The thought alone terrified me and now it was reality.

"I don't even know why I'm worried about this," Hannah finally sat up, "I've wanted to go and work abroad for years now."

"I know why," Olivia sighed, probably loud enough for next door to hear.

"Why?"

"Because we're all going to be separated next year. It's the same reason I'm more anxious than excited today. I've had this dream my whole life but it's not what I'm thinking about today. I'm thinking about how I'm not ready to be an adult, not without you guys."

"Maybe we shouldn't go."

"You aren't serious, Han," she rolled her eyes.

"I am, I mean I'm only eighteen! I'm not ready to move across the world on my own."

"You've wanted this your whole life Hannah," I joined in, "remember how many times you told us you'd never be able to live here all your life, you said your soulmate is probably off In Australia somewhere already."

"Soulmates can be platonic," she frowned, "and I have two right in front of me." This girl.

"I am seriously going to cry right now," Olivia squealed out, embracing us both in a huge hug.

"I really don't know what I'm going to do without you both," my eyes watered up.

Hannah grabbed my face, "even if I was at the other side of the globe. One call from you that you needed me, and I'd come home."

"Me too."

"You guys know I'd never call you and admit that."

"We'd be able to tell by your voice," Olivia was wiping my tears now, "we'd know."

"Let's do this," I nodded, standing up and taking both my best friends by the hand.

We got ready in a comfortable silence. Yet it felt heavy. This felt like the beginning of the end all over again. Things were never going to be the same after today. I wasn't ready for another huge change like this. But we headed out the door to the rest of our friends waiting on us.

"This is it," James smiled, lifting Olivia up.

"Todays the day."

"Are you guys feeling it too?" Sean barely lifted his head.

"It's gonna be okay," I threw my arm around him.

"No matter what, we all have each other," Mark sounded convinced.

"Where's Cliodhan?"

"She's meeting us there; said she was too nervous to see anyone beforehand."

"I thought I'd feel calmer with you guys, but I think it's making me realise just how big of a deal this is."

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