When Nadia Marsh; a cheerful and popular ice skater, is overtaken by a mystery illness, everything changes.
When everyone around her is training for sectionals; Nadia is house bound, where even the smallest effort leaves her feeling exhausted.
Getti...
"Yeah, I'm empty inside, I just don't feel alive, And I don't want to live, but I'm too scared to die."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
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THIS IS PART ONE OF THE DOUBLE UPDATE!
NADIA'S POV:
Pain. All I feel right now is pain. It's like I'm drowning but I just can't fucking die; the suffering won't end.
I didn't sleep for long at all, maybe about an hour and then I got woken up by the shooting agony in my legs. It's like the blood rushing through my veins is a poison trying to debilitate me slowly day by day.
In my opinion, I need to sleep more than the average person but the thing is, I don't rest because I'm lazy; I rest because it's my medicine, yet it's also my kryptonite. When I sleep, it does nothing for me, it makes me feel worse somehow, like I needed sleep when I got back home from the rink but I soon got woken up by the pain, needing to sleep just as much as I did before my nap.
What hurts the most about this isn't the pain, it's the fact that I have to pretend that I'm fine long before I healed from it. When I sleep my parents expect that it will make me feel better than I did before, that's why they encourage it so much but how can I turn around and say to them that it doesn't do anything for me. There is no way I can escape the way I'm feeling, I'm trapped and I'm afraid this is all I'll ever be.
I shout out into the darkness and receive no response so my parents must be out. I'm not sure what time it is but I didn't sleep long enough for my parents to be asleep so I grab my phone from where my mum puts it under my pillow and reluctantly send a text to Willem saying that I need him. I don't want to bother my parents, they have to put up with me on a daily basis and I don't really want to bother Willem as he's with his friends, but I need someone.
I receive no reply from my brother, which is unusual, but I read nothing into it as he's with his friends and had better things to do than answer his sister's text messages. As I'm alone, I make an attempt to get up by myself. I lift my legs up with my arms and spin them round to the side of my bed and push myself up, using my arm strength yet again.
I take the two pain killers that were left on the tray next to my bed, as my parents don't trust me with the whole box, and down the rest of my lukewarm water with them, easing the scratchiness in my throat.
I use my arms to push myself up again and cling to the wall to help myself to the bathroom. Once I'm done I check my phone to see if I have a response from Willem, only to be met with nothing.
I understand why there is no reply but it doesn't stop the sting his absence brings me.
I make my way back to bed as there's no reason to be awake and I toss and turn for what feels like hours. I'm exhausted yet sleep doesn't seem to be coming to me. Today is one of those days where my heart is tired and all I want to do is hug my best friend. I think that no matter how much time passes with Archie gone, I will always be weak. Grief is all I have left of him, so yes, I cling to it. So, I will continue to remember him, even though he's gone.
