Summer Nights

23: 'Dark thoughts sneak back in...'

I softly roll out of my bed ensuring that I don't wake up Rocky from his deep slumber, he needed his rest after last night.

I purse my lips together as I hesitantly walk towards his mirror, I let out a shaky breath as I lift up the baggy t-shirt that was currently swallowing my body. Tears burn the corner of my eyes as I look at my stomach, it certainly wasn't a bump, but it did look more circular.

I reach down and squeeze my thighs roughly, a small whimper escapes my lips, as I grab at pieces of flesh around my body.

Why couldn't I be beautiful?

Why couldn't I be good enough for someone?

My entire body freezes when I see Rocky's figure slowly sit up out of the corner of my eye, I quickly pull the shirt down.

'What are you doing sunshine?'

I shake my head, 'N-Nothing.'

'It didn't look like nothing.'

'I-I don't want to talk about it.'

He nods stiffly before he climbs out of bed and stands behind me, I watch his expression in the reflection of the mirror.

'Do you want some breakfast?' He asks softly.

I really don't want to eat anything, ever again.

But I couldn't be selfish, I was growing this little perfect person in my body, and they depended on me to keep them safe and to protect them.

'S-Sure.'

He gives me a sad smile, 'Come on.'

I return the smile meekly as I quietly follow him into the kitchen, I let out a small sigh as I sit down onto one of the chairs.

'Sunshine?'

'Hmm.'

'You seem like the type of girl who carries a pen around with her at all times, do you have one?'

I cock my head to one side, 'This is literally your apartment, how on earth do you not have a pen?'

He shrugs, 'I live in the twenty-first century.'

I roll my eyes before I walk over to the sofa and grab my coat, I fish out a black pen, I pass it over towards him, my stomach churns as our fingertips accidentally meet.

'What do you need a pen for?'

'You'll see.' He murmurs as he turns the stove on.

I fidget with my fingers, 'I-I've actually been meaning to ask you something.'

'Alright.'

'M-My school is putting on a production a-and I'm actually the lead, it's probably the last time I-I'll be able to perform in something for quite a while because by the time the summer production, I-I'll probably be way to pregnant to be on the stage.'

'You still haven't asked me anything.'

I let out a small sigh, 'W-Would you like to come and watch? You can sit with Luke.'

My eyebrows furrow together as he tenses slightly, 'What's the play?'

'Pardon?'

'I don't really like the theatre, so I'm gonna have to know what play it is.'

'O-Oh, it's an adaptation of the little mermaid.'

His nose wrinkles as he walks over to the table holding two plates of eggs and toast, 'Like the Disney movie?'