37 | Should I go?

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Just because I am in the mood, should we do a Felix's POV, was what I was thinking. But like every serious decision I have taken in my life I said 'Fuck it' and got on with it.

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Not-yet-Queen Felix

The culture around someone impacts their perspective to a great extent. For me, it was always hard to find a place that made me feel like I belonged. The expectations I was born with always weighed like stones on me. It was evident that the society around me didn't appreciate my stubbornness, my anger, and my unforgiving nature. Both as a female and as a leader in future. And as I grew up as a Luna and wife. 

But my father never raised me like that. I was given full reign to do whatever I wanted in life. Be whatever I wanted to be. It gave me freedom but I still never found a place that felt like I belonged. 

So when I was presented with the option to pass off the position to my brother, I gladly took it. I didn't want any scrutiny in my life and also because I trusted my brother to be a way better leader than me. 

But has anyone ever escaped fait? It wasn't long before I ended up being not only a Luna, I became the Luna Queen. I was sacred. Because this time I had no place to run away. I had to step up and be better than anything I have been years. 

I knew I lacked a lot of things but I was determined to be as efficient and as strong as my Mate. Someone who was predicted to be one of the strongest and wisest rulers the supernatural world has seen. He was not someone who won wars. He was someone who never let situations reach there. From the day he sat on that throne, he had tried his best to make his country the safest and the most peaceful one he could. 

Contrary to my first impressions of him, he turned out to be so much more than just a stoic and disciplined leader. After spending all this time with him I have realised that more than anything about him it's his companionship that I love. I loved how beside him I felt like I belonged. I loved his care. I loved his patience. But above all I loved him. 

Yes, I love him. It didn't take me long to fall for him.

The realisation of my feelings hit me when I saw him glancing up at me from the sunken land down the cliff. I felt like I was alive again. Like I am breathing again. I didn't realise how desperately I was looking for him until I found him. Literally and figuratively. It was all I needed to know I love this man. 

I had noticed quite early on that this wise king was clueless. I would have to be upfront and confess for him to understand what I feel. Trust me when I say that I have tried to gauge his reaction with little tricks both intentionally and unintentionally. But his innocent soul never caught one.  

And as much fun as I have teasing him and confusing him. I need a break from him. My feelings for him are getting a little overwhelming. For the love of the goddess, he has started appearing in my dreams. So I was going back home under the guise of resting for a few days. Because bless his heart, Orief hasn't even noticed that I haven't been back home much after I came back. It is partly because Flynn is doing an amazing job too and partly because we haven't caught a break too.

When I woke up in the hospital I instantly knew something was wrong. Never has my curse flared up like that. I had to investigate this. And for this, I need to go back home. Away from Rei's eyes.  Because now more than ever I need to resolve my curse. If I am unsuccessful  I might never be able to love him again.

Having steeled my resolve, I started packing my bags. After finishing clothes, I started packing up my tech but before packing them I needed a copy of the reports so I ventured into Rei's office. I had just sent the files from his computer to my device when I felt the familiar footsteps practically running down the hall. 

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