Too Scared To Say Something Sooner - TMD [Mainly Chadam]

Chapter 19: Welcome to a Segment We Like to Call: Coach Bombay's Love Advice

So this is late... yeah. School. Life. You know how it goes. My room is a fuhking disaster, too, 'cause adhd and burnout sucks, BUT I will try to do a double release for this Monday. I'm thinking writing a half chapter right after I'm done with this.

I'm sorry again that this is late, but I hope you like it anyway! :)

(Edit: I'm struggling- WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CHAPTER??? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE FOR NO REASON?-)

(Edit: FINALLY DONE AT 10:18 THE DAY THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED... shit I still have to edit-)

Charlie

I could feel my former coach's eyes on me as I scooped another bite of ice cream into my mouth. The sweet taste of the creamy, chocolatey goodness coated my tongue, but somehow it tasted sour with anxiety.

I had called Coach Bombay to see when he would be in town again to find out he had been planning on coming up today for business. He was going to surprise the Ducks, but I'd accidentally ruined that plan.

I had asked if he wanted to meet up after he finished whatever he was here for in the first place and he agreed. Knowing him, he could probably tell just by my voice over the phone something was up.

So here we were.

The silence was almost suffocating as Bombay stared at me, rested back against his chair across from me eating his ice cream; silently waiting for me to start talking.

"Charlie?" He finally asked when I still hadn't said anything. I hummed in reply, as if I had no idea what he was thinking, trying to act calm. "Are you going to explain why you wanted to meet up? I know it's not just because you wanted to get ice cream with me." He gestured to his cup to emphasize his point.

"I..." I hesitated. Bombay raised his eyebrows slightly, urging me to go on. I took a slow, calming breath to slow my rapid heartbeat and continued. "I need advice."

"Advice?" Coach asked, his tone disbelieving that that was all this was about.

"Yeah," I nodded. My stomach was in knots. I didn't know why I suggested ice cream when I knew how stressful this would be.

"On what exactly?"

"Um..." I fidgeted with the sleeve of my flannel. I didn't know how to put everything that has happened in the last couple of days into words.

How do you say, 'hey, my best friend came out to Julie as gay then I found out and he had a panic attack while we were at the fair after I almost got us kicked out by a security guard who called us a slur and he ran away from me and I went to find him to fix things and now I don't know what to do because I may have a chance with him so I've been avoiding him just a little bit,' without actually saying all of that so you don't out anyone.

I should have thought this through more.

"Charlie?" Coach Bombay prodded.

"I think I'm bisexual." I blurted out.

That was definitely a start.

Coach's jaw fell agape. I continued to ramble on, words just pouring out of my mouth at a rapid pace.

"Well, actually I know I'm bi -I've known that for a long time now. It's actually the reason Linda and I broke up, but not because I was bi, I just ending up liking someone else, but she was cool with it and that's why we're still friends."