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JOEL MILLER WAS A GOOD DAD. Although he was a single dad, he didn't let that stop him from doing everything he could to give Sarah the world, because that's what she was to him. He went to all of her games, tried to get her anything she asked for as long as it was within reason, and overall he liked to think he did good.
The one area, however, that he was never good at, was comfort. He'd be there to give her a hug and patch her up if she scraped her knee, but he didn't know how to talk and be comforting. Part of him was always afraid he'd say the wrong thing and make the situation worse.
That was exactly how he was feeling right now, as he watched Josie begin to grieve. While it was true that he'd known Bill and Frank for much longer, he'd be the first to admit that of him, Tess, and Josie, the latter was closest to the 2 men by a long shot. So when he came back into the house and saw her tears begin to fall as she read Frank's letter, he wished he knew what the right thing to do was.
He knew what he wanted to do, which was take Bill's advice. After Ellie stopped reading, he picked up the paper before heading outside. Bill ended up mentioning Josie once more, and said that although he was getting up there in age, he wasn't blind. And that if he felt anything towards her, to tell her while there was still time. To let her be his person worth saving and protecting.
Even if he felt confident enough to do that, now definitely wasn't the time. He was just glad Ellie hadn't read that part of the letter, at least not out loud.
"— outside?"
Joel looked up to see Josie wiping her tears and finally standing up.
"Sorry, what?"
"Did you find anything outside?" Josie repeated.
"Oh I — I didn't really look yet. I was going to go check out the garage if you—"
"Okay," Josie was headed towards the door, and Joel didn't comment on how quick she was to answer. After the letters they'd both just read, a distraction was clearly needed.
Similar thoughts now plagued both minds. But considering all that they'd recently gone through, and all that they were about to go through, was now really a good time to confess deeply buried feelings for each other?
Josie wanted to tell Joel how she was feeling, how she'd felt for quite some time now. Especially after reading Frank's letter. But she didn't know how to bring it up.
And what if Joel didn't feel the same? Josie knew that if she confessed and he didn't reciprocate her feelings, then she'd have to leave. She wouldn't be able to handle the rest of the journey with him. And she also knew that she'd likely die on the journey back to the Boston QZ if she was alone. If not on the journey, she'd probably get caught sneaking back in and be hung for leaving anyway.
