𝐴 𝑇𝑖𝑝𝑠𝑦 𝑇𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝐹𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒...~

Thoughts and tears...

~Furina's pov

What the hell was I thinking!? How on Teyvat was I possibly convinced that she would possibly return my stupid feelings??
My worth amounts to nothing when next to hers!
And she's.. Arlecchino is a Harbinger..? Aren't they some of the most ruthless and dangerous of people?
And I loved one of them.
How pathetic of me... Had I truly stooped so low as to wish to spend time with a Harbinger??
How disgustingly human of me.
I can't let myself be lost in stupid feelings...

I really am a pathetic excuse of a 'God'.

So, I continued to run to the Palais, not bearing any second thoughts about my earlier lashing out. The crowd of onlookers are probably watching my sprint, stunned at my prior use of profanity.
My spotless reputation is bound to take a hit from this, anyway. Dammit...
All I could do was pray that damned Charlotte was nowhere nearby, ready to write article after article about my sudden outburst!

Ugh... Being too popular can be such a hassle, who knew that people would adore me so much?
Now I just feel insufferable. But... At least I didn't end up with her.
That would prove quite troubling.
I can't confide or trust in anyone, right? As it would risk ruining the plan...
The plan,
The plan 'She' has for the Prophecy.

I shouldn't dare screw it up. It seemed the right choice was hidden amongst the most unexpected and risky paths after all, but justice will always prevail.

Luckily, I soon made it to the Palais Mermonia without any extra trouble. I then quickly asked some of the Melusines stationed outside the palace to not accept any new visitors,
incase the earlier spectators come to beg for insight and the 'tea'.

I opened the door and bolted towards the way to my chambers, not bothering to greet any of the other people I usually talk to.
The only thing I wanted to do was scream and cry into a pillow, letting the pain and sorrow flow out onto the fabric rather than let it spill into my daily life and to those around me.
I arrived at my chambers, tossing my tophat aside and crawling into my bed. Even the usually comforting and soft blanket felt heavier as if trying to suffocate me for my naïve act.
I don't blame it.
Why would I love a Harbinger? Arlecchino is just another dumb Fatui Harbinger, there's no reason to care! But.. Why does my heart have that familiar ache?? Why do I feel so... Uncontrollably mortal?

I hate it all.

Once I was sure no one could hear me, I started to cry. Alongside the heartache, I had a strong, painful urge to cry since that damned Harbinger... Well. I don't want to think of her anymore.
I cried and cried until I could barely muster up any more tears. My pillow was almost soaked with mascara-stained tears, I'd have to clean the pillowcase before it gets spotted...
I kept quiet, praying no one would walk in.
It's good to cry often, as long as no one is anywhere near to catch you in the act, of course.

Besides, a God shouldn't show any weakness, right? That's what the people would think, so that's how I must act...