We're not friends, but you'd introduce me as your friend in front of others. We're not acquaintances, but we don't talk or text each other every day anymore, rather just send a snap once a day. I'm not your lover, but you took the time to help me with my homework, an hour of your time dedicated to me despite your busy schedule. But even with that, you couldn't find the time to watch a show with me. What really is it?
I'd like to ask you, but I'm scared. I'm scared that the future will repeat the past. If I ask you now, I'll really lose contact with you. Just like how I asked about us, and I lost you in our relationship. You're no longer mine. But someone else's to find, and call you their most priced treasure. I'm scared that you'll give me the answer I don't want to hear.
The day it ended, you told me you still care for me. Has that changed? I don't want to hear the answer. The day it ended, you told me that you're not uncomfortable with texting me, calling me, or hanging out with me. Has that changed? I'm scared to ask. The day it ended, you told me that you most likely won't find another significant person soon as you're busy all days. Has that changed? I'm scared to know.
I don't want the answers to kill me inside, but curiosity already is. Because I care about you, I want to know. It's hard because I still love you.
YOU ARE READING
remanence
RomanceLingering thoughts; I wish you could see this my first love. : Since my first love wouldn't have read this, everybody else can, and feel from my heart.
