Chapter 20

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I was sitting on our favourite bench with Jai at my side. Silence surrounded us and all I could think about was what would come. I had come home late yesterday - purposely - so my parents were asleep, and when I woke up my parents had already left for work, which meant there was no conflict yet.

But I knew there would be. There was no doubt about it. My parents weren't the type of people to forget about things easily, so I was anxiously waiting for another wrath attack. Probably one when I got home today. It was nerve racking, but I also wanted to get it over with. I wanted to go back to feeling nothing.

Knowing I needed to think about something else, my eyes suddenly drifted to Jai. He was smoking and staring off into the distance, and to my surprise my heart skipped a beat. Simply at the sight of him, my heart did a summersault.

Something had definitely changed after yesterday. It wasn't just that we got closer, but something else. Something bigger and scarier and I kept trying to push the idea of it away. My life was already fucked up enough. Adding this into it would be a total mess.

"You're staring at me," Jai commented without even looking at me. "Are you imagining me in suit? I know you loved it."

I rolled my eyes. "You're too vain for your own good."

Jai looked at me and grinned, winking in the process. To my surprise, I began to blush. From something so simple, I did, and I became embarrassed by myself.

"Why are you turning red?" Jai said, not bothering to hide his amusement.

"Shut up," I huffed, turning redder.
Oh god. I couldn't help but feel this way. It was horrifying and embarrassing and terrifying, but I understood why these feelings bloomed. Sadly, I fully comprehended what was happening to me around Jai.

"You know, that dress really suited you," Jai suddenly said. "It was beautiful. It suited your skin really well."

I narrowed my eyes at him, thinking he was joking. But soon my eyes flew wide as I noticed the sincerity in his eyes. He looked like he really meant what he said, which left my heart hammering against my chest.

"Thanks." I looked away from him, wishing I didn't have such pale skin.

"Jared's an idiot for pissing you off yesterday," Jai commented. "He really messed up."

At that, I began to smile. Those words made me feel warm and suddenly, I was grinning at Jai, rid of my embarrassment. Jai grinned back and now my heart was beating steadily, knowing that if this was how I could feel for anyone, it was a good thing I felt it for Jai.

Honestly, I never understood why a small part of me thought Jared and I could possibly be something. Maybe because the whole idea of opposites attract was instilled into my mind, but I realized that being opposites was not what I needed. As someone who needed someone to understand me and relate to, having someone so ignorant to who I was was such a turn off.

That was why I fell for Jai. I realized yesterday that Jai was someone I truly cared about. He was always there for me and he understood me, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. I always thought I stared at him because I was intrigued by him, but in all honestly I had always admired him. Not just because of how beautiful he was physically, but because he had a heart that was so fragile yet strong.

Staring at his gleaming eyes, my heart did a summersault once again. These feelings were scary. Worrisome for someone who never really felt anything. But, I knew that as long as I kept them to myself I would be fine. That was my plan.

"We should hang out again," Jai suddenly said, breaking out staring contest. "Soon."

"My parents will murder me before I can ever leave the house again," I said, knowing that was the case. "I wish we could but..."

"We'll find a way." Jai's eyes suddenly softened. "Somehow we'll find a way to make everything work."

I stared at him for a second, wondering what exactly he meant by that. Seeing the confidence in his eyes so bold, I knew he didn't just mean us hanging out.

"Yeah, we'll see," I said sighing. "I'm still anticipating my parents wrath though."

"Do you want me to come home with you?" he asked. "I'll doubt they'll be as mad if you have a visitor with you."

"No!" I blurted out.

I flushed at Jai's surprised expression. But in all honestly, I really didn't want Jai to meet my parents. They ruined everything. Everything that ever mattered to me. If Jai ever met them they would somehow ruin him and I have no idea how I would survive without him. Currently, he was my biggest reason for not deciding to jump in front of a car.

"Jai... My parents would probably be more mad if they see you," I said honestly. "They would probably murder us together. Do you want to share a coffin with me?"

"Yeah," he says, surprisingly serious. "I rather we be together than alone, even when it comes to death."

My eyes widened at how serious he seemed about that. To my surprise, I was a bit touch too. Meaning this much to someone was really unexpected. It left me with a good feeling.

I smiled. "That's sweet, but still it's a no. You are never, ever going to meet my parents."

"Aw, but I was going to show you mine," Jai whined.

"Really?" My eyes widened.

"No. We're alike once again." Jai smiled sadly. "I don't want you to meet my parents either. Ever."

I frowned but decided not to prod into that part of his life. Like me, maybe he had good reasons for hiding that part of him. Even if I couldn't help but wonder, I decided that Jai would open up when he wanted to. The both of us needed time, so I would give that to him.

*****

I opened the door to my house, heart picking up its pace as I stepped inside. The house was quiet, too quiet when I knew my parents were furious with me. Taking off my shoes, I began to tippy toe my way to the stairs.

Rushing up them quietly, I jumped when I reached the second floor, surprised by what I saw. My dad was sitting there. In front of the washroom with his hand on his round belly. His eyes were on me and my throat constricted.

"Scarlett," he said as I stood frozen. "You ran out on me. You disobeyed be."

He wasn't yelling at me. Although he sounded angry, this angry I could deal with. This anger was his sober anger and I was suddenly relieved, knowing I wouldn't be sleeping in a coffin today.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I was stupid and disrespectful and I regret it. I shouldn't have done what I did, and I learned my lesson."

My dad stared at me for a second, scowling. His eyes were a clear blue and I felt a chill through me, knowing what he did now would show me what type of person he really was. Usually I could blame the alcohol, but if my dad did anything right now I would know it was him. The demon man he was.

Shaking his head, my dad said, "You know you're never leaving the house again."

"I know," I said, feeling my heart drop even though I predicted this outcome. "I understand."

"Begone then," he mumbled, sighing as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door.

Quickly going to my bedroom, I felt my anxiousness rush out of me. This was way better than I expected. I was so lucky because my dad was rarely ever sober, and that was the only time I could actually talk to him without having him be irrational and scream at me.

Closing my bedroom door, I sighed satisfied. A part of me hoped this was the end of this topic. Now that it was brought up once and kind of resolved, I doubt it would be again. That left me returning to my usual feelings of nothingness.

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