BEING MARRIED TO MR ROCHESTER (COMPLETED)

The Day He Was Consumed By Guilt

It's not the pain we feel that eats us away but rather the guilty. It consumes us and eats us away like a cancer
Polly-Anna-Rome-Doll
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01/18/2016

LUKE

It was three weeks since I had consummated our marriage. I did not mean to purposely hurt her. For god sakes she was an innocent. I took her hard and long. I was angry at her. For ignoring me, treating me like nothing! I was Luke Rochester.

My pride would perhaps be my downfall.

I expected her to slap me, claw me, beg me to stop as I took her. But nothing! She wouldn't even allow herself to touch me. She wouldn't even look at me. Not that I blamed her. I regretted the way I behaved. It was highly inappropriate. I behaved like a blasted sadist! I had too much pride to ever apologize and my arrogance wouldn't let me.

I was selfish. I know she did not get a release while I did four times. I should have waited. Gave her the choice to come to me. Idiot!

I could still hear her shallow breathing from my hands touching her. Her small breast. Tasted so warm in my mouth. Narrow waist. God! And that hair! Spread across the bed like an extra sheet.

When I finally touched her with my fingers. Even then I could feel how snug her inside was. So wet. Ready for me.

Jesus!

When I began to enter her. She was so tight. Gripping me. It was like she was made for me. The feeling of Emily is something I'll never forget. Ever.

Even when I took her the last time. She was just a tight as the first. I had to grip her hips to hold me in place. I wondered if I had a mark. How sore she must have been.

I was over calculating. She did not matter to me. I harbored no feelings for her.  I keept telling myself this. To lessen the guilty I was feeling. Not that it worked.

I still had no idea what she looked like. She was always in her room. And I wasn't exactly curious to see her.

I never checked up on her. To see how she was doing. I knew she was pain and sore. I was not gentle. Perhaps feeling a little awkward. It was her first time. Even her first kiss. My little mouse didn't not even kiss me back. Was it inexperience or disgust.

Why was I even thinking about her.

I decided to call on Lady Marian my mistress for the past three years. I needed a distraction. From my role as a husband. From thinking about her.

I don't normal keep mistresses for more than a few months but Marian always knew how to please me best.

I dressed and ventured to Marian.

I knocked at her door. She instantly drew me in and crushed her lips on mine. Eager to please as always.

I began tearing at Marian's clothes. Without any foreplay. I entered her swiftly and slammed into her without mercy. She screamed and begged me to go harder which I obliged. I withdrew and spilled all over her. She didn't seemed to mind having my seed slathered all over her chest. She just kept smiling at me. I kissed her forehead and told her I had urgent matters to attend. Which was a lie.

I felt guilty. But why should I be? I had already stated my rules! My objective. My arranged marriage was a business deal. My wife was here to bare my heir. No feelings attached.

But why did I feel guilt eating me away like a virus.

I entered the carriage and headed home and to my drawing room. I threw myself into work.

Later that night I could hear Emily humming to herself, I heard when she closed her bathroom door to have her nightly bath, shifting on her bed to get comfortable before she turned the lights off. At half past 9 I could hear muffles. I listened closely to Emily crying.

I hated weeping women. Something about tears made me uneasy. I had half mind to go and tell her to shut up. Sobbing away like the weight of the world was on her shoulder.

She had a big house, luxury, everything a woman would want. Yet she was crying her eyes out. She was a spoilt brat!

I just knew it was my fault she was crying. But I was still annoyed. I couldn't take it anymore.
I needed down to one of the rooms downstairs.

I covered my ears with pillows to block her out as darkness took a toll.

Short chapter!
More insight on Luke...

LUKE IS SOOOOOO DAMN FUDGING SEXY!!!!!!
We can all safely say Luke did warn us he wasn't going to be faithful..
But I've seen broken families come back together so there is a lot of hope for the Rochesters...

Anyways

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Mal-Bear🐻