castaway ↠ jack gilinsky

four

hannah+

"we're at my house" he frowned.

"i know. Your not coming to mine" i laughed at the fact that he actually thought I was letting him over.

"you remembered where it was" he smiled.

"i mean how many times have i been here? i practically lived here at one point. it isn't very hard to remember" ishrugged, telling him the truth.

i tell everyone the truth now. i used to just be nice, tell people what they wanted to hear because i was shy and intimidated by everyone. now i've really really lost any fucks i have for anyone's opinion so i'm gonna tell them the truth. doesn't everyone deserve that anyway?

he politely opened the door for me and i stepped inside. nothing really changed. i wouldn't expect it to in three weeks time.

"what do you want from me?" i sighed, leaning on the counter across from him in the kitchen.

"i want to talk" jack said calmly.

"okay, feel free to" i told him, not completely shutting him down.

"you seem more confident than i'm used to" he commented, amused by my new behavior.

"it's not confidence. i just don't care anymore" I told him.

"same" he simply said.

"what do you mean same? you're the most cocky person i know" i laughed.

"i do still act that way, but like you said i don't care about anything anymore. do you know what I do after work?" he asked.

"go out, like you usually do" I mumbled.

"i go straight home and to my room. that's where i live now. my co-workers eventually stopped asking me to join them for drinks after the realized that it wasn't happening" he told me and i stayed quiet.

"well, you're acting as if this is my fault" i spoke up.

"and it's mine?" he asked, baffled that he could do something wrong.

he's full of bullshit.

"well yeah. you talked to me less and less. it became more and more awkward. i even tried to reach out to you but you just pushed me away" i informed him.

"how do you think i felt?" he raised his voice, "i tried to text you day after day and you would just not reply" he exclaimed.

"i figured i shouldn't reply since you didn't" i shrugged, a little intimidated by him.

he's the only one that still does intimidate me and i hate it.

"yhis isn't tag, han. i have a life to live and i text you when I can" he kept his voice raised.

"no, we used I be each-others life. you would've made time for me if I was that important to you" I started to raise my own.

"so we both grew apart?" he reassured his thoughts in the matter.

"yeah, we did" I said in a quiet tone.

"can you leave" he said, after a moment of running his hands down his face and hair.

"excuse me?" I asked, surprised at his sudden statement.

"leave my home" he demanded.

i grabbed my keys and left as soon as possible.

i can't believe him. you got into my car wanting to talk us out and then you demand me to leave. a little part of me is glad that i'm not with him so I don't have to deal with his bi-polar ass.

when i got home i took my heals off and decided to wait and shower tomorrow.

for the first time in a while i dressed up and felt a little good about myself. this night was supposed to be good, and productive, and celebratory.

now i'm just exhausted, like usual and depressed all over again. i don't know why i care so much, but jack wanting me away from him hurt my feelings and made me upset.

i stripped out of my dress and changed into some sweats and a hoodie even though i would probably wake up sweating through the night.

when i was going through my closet i found one of jack's old hoodies. he would always let me wear it, it was his favorite one. bet you it still is. it still smelled like him in the inside but the outside smelled like me and my perfume.

i wish we could go back. before we were adults and changed so fast.

i shook away the memories from the item of clothing and tossed it back in my closet before trying to fall asleep.

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