1| Mirth

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 [for Bayan]

1 :: Mirth

Madeline Joseph's life changed one Christmas many years ago when she picked herself up and walked away leaving the dust of her past behind on the road she had fallen into; and Madeline Joseph knew that it was the best decision she had ever made.

The present was its proof.

As she stood by the door, watching hundreds and hundreds of people getting enthusiastic about the book launch of Flake, she couldn't help the lump that had formed in her throat. So much had happen, in so many years, in so many fleeting seconds of a very transient life. It all got very overwhelming at times.

But contrary to the lump in her throat, a smile crept on her face as she saw people struggle to get ahead into the line to receive the limited signed copies of the book. She almost laughed as she saw two best friends manhandling each other buoyantly.

Flake had been published on the internet before- until today, after the popular demands of its fan to get it published in a book form. Noelle- the mysterious and very much loved author had complied after a lot of hesitation and had even written an extended version of the book. It's the least she could do, she often said, to return to the people who had loved her so much, who had gotten her to where she was.

Madeline sighed as her friend- her best friend- babbled on.

"I really don't get it." Hazel Bell protested next to Madeline, "Why don't you just reveal yourself to the world. Tell them that you are Noelle, the person who wrote Flake."

Madeline then gave a look to her friend that was a mandatory occurrence in any conversation that they had regarding this subject. Then, Hazel went ahead to give the knowing look in reply and then an agitated one as per the normal tradition. Both best friends then continued to have a war of looks. Both stiff in their positions.

Sometimes Hazel's behaviour aggravated Madeline, no matter how much she loved her. Flake covered a story which was aligned to Madeline's and the mere thought of uncovering the hidden secret daunted her.

The freedom of writing without a face was something she thoroughly rejoiced and embraced. It brought a sense of openness in her writing which her otherwise introverted behaviour couldn't. Madeline knew for a fact that if ever she would reveal her identity to the world she wouldn't be able to write with the same zest, instead she would then be a caged bird whose words wouldn't be allowed to move freely.

And then further deep down Madeline also knew that if ever people knew of her broken past she would feel nothing but sheer embarrassment. Because the truth is, no matter how much you have left behind, the time that has gone by always reflects on the time you are living.

Everything felt hazy for a minute and the war of eyes had been far left behind and Madeline was lost deep into her thoughts. It was often that she would zone out into nothingness filled with millions and trillions of emotions and various feelings which couldn't be described in the combinations of mere alphabets.

"Are you okay?" Hazel asked moving her hands on her friend's shoulder in comfort which she had to shake off. Madeline still did not like anyone touching her.

It's absurd how even after years of experiencing a variety of things, our heart and mind somehow get stuck into that one spiked wire which scars our soul, tainting us and leaving behind an irrational fear.

So maybe that's why, a touch, even a tender one would distraught Madeline.

Thankfully Hazel was well aware of this and did not mind her friend's hostility at times; she knew it was sort of a second nature of hers, a sort of defense mechanism to everything that made her vulnerable. Instead, she was only grateful that Madeline had been free enough to share her secret which she has sworn to take to her grave.

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