Andreas was the one to pull away. He shook his head resolutely. “I do not fancy making the same mistakes twice, little witch. Once before I had taken advantage of you in a vulnerable state and look how that turned out. I will not be doing that again. If you decide in a couple of days when you have processed everything I have told you and everything that has happened, that you still want to kiss me, then I won’t object. But having you mad at me, is not something I would like to experience again.”
I turned my head away from him, resting my chin on my shoulder, letting out a deep breath. He was right. My emotions, as well as his, were all over the place. I had a lot I needed to process and I suspected, so did he.
He took my hand in his, causing me to turn back to face him. “You are a remarkable woman, Lana. Most people would’ve run away by now. Yet you are still here.”
I gave him a small smile. “You saved my life. Despite all your flaws, I do believe there is a good man hidden somewhere inside you.”
“You may be the only one that thinks so. I don’t even believe it anymore.”
I squeezed his hand. He thought he was beyond saving, that killing his parents accidently somehow tarnished him for life. I needed to show him he was wrong. No one is ever beyond saving. As long as there was a spark of light within them, that light can grow.
“Every action can be redeemed if one truly seeks it.”
He cupped my cheek in his hand. “That’s just it, Lana, I do not seek it. The worst part of all of this is that I know I should try to make up for all my past mistakes, but I don’t even want to try. I cannot do the right thing.”
I was forced to stare into his eyes even though I wanted, desperately, to look away. He had a point. So far, he hadn’t really made an effort to do the right thing… except those times when he saved me. “You’ve saved me repeatedly, is that not doing the right thing?”
“No, it’s not. I saved you for selfish reasons, little witch. By definition that makes it wrong.” His hand dropped from my face. “My intentions aren’t good and although I’m trying to make up for the way I have treated you, you should not mistake my actions for a search for redemption. I am a selfish man, and seeing you with Kalen… it ignites a rage within me I cannot quench.”
Kalen, the mention of his name had me sick to my stomach. I didn’t know what was between him and me, but I knew I at least owed him an explanation. I had created a mess all because I couldn’t control myself around Andreas. He had a hold on me that wouldn’t let go. And in the process of realizing that, I had forgotten how Kalen would fit into it all. It was a mess, one I needed to sort out before he returned. How hurt would he be? Was there a chance he could possibly understand?
I pinched the bridge of my nose and got up from the floor. “I need some air,” I commented and started walking to the door. Andreas didn’t say a word, so I offered an explanation without prompt. “All of this is a lot to process… I need time to think and consider every angle. You were right to stop me, meaning that even if you don’t always believe it, you are capable of doing the right thing. And while you might not care about Kalen’s feelings, I still do. I need to think about him as well. I can’t just blindly dive into this again. Last time, I got hurt. I have to be sure you won’t do that to me again. And right now, I’m not. I’ll be in the woods, to clear my mind.”
“Do what you need to do. I know this all is a lot to process, I don’t blame you for needing to think. But do not expect me to give you the space to process my words for very long. The last time I gave you leeway you ran straight into another man’s arms and I do not wish to have that happen again.” He got to his feet and closed the distance between us. He leaned his head down slightly, to my ear level. “I’m not letting you go without a fight this time, Lana. And the fact that you haven’t run after hearing my darkest secret means I’m probably never going to let you go. You might still consider Kalen an obstacle, but I don’t. You’ll soon realize he has nothing over me, because if he did we wouldn’t be standing here right now. So you use your time to think, I will be waiting for you to realize what I already know. You are mine,” he whispered seductively into my ear. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.
And then he was gone. I almost sank to the floor again, but managed to keep my composure. I needed fresh air so I could think clearly. Andreas’ presence always brought a fog over my mind, one that needed clearing if I wanted to accomplish anything.
My mind was too preoccupied and cloudy to remember anything from earlier in the day. Everything we discussed was running rampant through my mind and all I could think about was that Andreas almost died and all the things he had told me after I had saved his life. I completely forgot that I had seen John in the woods earlier. A mistake, I shouldn’t have made.
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A Necessary Evil (Book 1)
Fantasy**One can be evil, and still have a good heart, just as one can be good but still have a heart tainted by evil.** "There was an undeniable comfort and stability in a stable future, at having every detail of your life meticulously planned out. But ev...
