Two hours, forty eight minutes and five seconds. I counted every single one of them. That was how much time passed before the first person came to my cell to say their goodbyes. I hardly listened as my father launched into his speech justifying his actions, telling me I had to understand why they were doing this. I needed help, I just couldn’t see it yet. By killing me, they were setting me free, finally ridding me of the evil contained within. It was all aimed at making himself feel better. But no matter how mad I was, I still couldn’t hate him. He was still my father, no matter how misguided.
My mother came in soon after, spouting the same, with harsher words. At least my father’s voice contained emotion as he wrote me off, resigning me to my fate. Lady Jane Eleanor’s voice would not betray a single indication that she felt anything. It surprised me that no one thought her to be possessed. No one was that emotionless. Everyone felt something and she was acting like I never mattered at all. Perhaps I didn’t. Maybe I was just a tool for her to get further in life.
I tried to recollect a fond memory I shared with my mother, but in that moment I came up blank. Maybe it was the approach of my imminent death looming over my head that restricted my memory, but I couldn’t remember ever having seen her smile at me with the warmth of a mother’s love. I wanted to hate her. I really, really did. But I couldn’t bring myself to that. I just felt hollow, emotions having lost their meaning. Everything I thought I knew was gone. Nothing would ever be whole again. In just a couple of hours I would no longer exist. My life will be gone. It will have meant nothing.
Strangely, it wasn’t so hard to accept as I thought it would be. I regretted not getting the chance to live up to my full potential, not getting the chance to see how my life would’ve turned out, but accepting death didn’t seem so hard when I had a chance to process it. Hadn’t I known this day was coming for months now? Hadn’t I suspected I would get caught eventually?
Jane Eleanor was babbling on, her words devoid of meaning. I heard sounds, but couldn’t distinguish words. I gave no reaction to anything she said. If she thought I was listening, she was wrong. I didn’t even know why she bothered to talk to me at all. All she ever said to me anymore was how disappointed she was and how much she wished things didn’t have to end this way. That wasn’t the way a mother should act to her daughter. She should have cared that I was going to die. She should’ve tried to provide me comfort, not sign my death certificate.
“There is something you should know before you are burned,” she said nonchalantly, finally catching my attention. I refused to give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her. “Your father, isn’t your real father. That was why I tried so hard all these years to keep you in line, make sure you didn’t act out. I couldn’t afford him finding out the truth. Your real father was not of noble blood. James Wilston. He was a traveler passing through the land, and he was instantly infatuated with me, or so I thought.” Her voice had taken on a dream-like quality as she recalled this man. I was too numb to feel the impact of the words she was saying.
“He made me feel so special, and loved. I couldn’t help but fall victim to his charms. He impregnated me on my wedding night. I refused to sleep with your father, pretending I wasn’t ready yet. But when I realized I was expecting your brother, I had to compensate quickly. The same happened when I was expecting you.”
She paused to catch her breath. Emotion had finally entered her voice, but it wasn’t sadness, it was anger. “I never loved your father. My marriage to him was arranged just like yours had been to John. And much like you, Lana, I also once believed in the notion of love. I thought I loved James, and that he returned that love. But I was wrong. After you were born and I told James that both my children were his, he grew upset. He struck me and called me a liar. I kept insisting, but he refused to believe me. He lashed out, pinning me against the wall with magic. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Realizing what he had done, he let me go and ran off. I tried to get him arrested, my pride wounded, but I never saw him again. I apologize for not telling you this, but recalling him always makes me upset.”
It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me, but I wouldn’t show her that. I kept my body rigid, acting as if I didn’t hear anything she had just said. My real father was a sorcerer. That explained so much. It explained why both my brother and I had magic. My mother, the woman who acted so superior, so pure, was the one to taint the bloodline. No wonder she had been so strict all those years. If anyone found out about her indiscretions, she would be labeled a whore and casted out from society. The only reason she was telling me now was because she didn’t believe I would get out of here alive.
“I was frightened that one of you would inherit your father’s traits, and I was so relieved when Zane turned out to be untainted. But you, I always suspected you. Even as a child you had too much fire behind your eyes. I knew you’d rebel eventually. I knew if one of you would take after your father, it would be you. I tried to keep you under control as long as I could, but you just had to take after your father, didn’t you? With your death, every memory I have left of that coward will be erased once and for all.” She let out a bitter laugh and walked away without as much as a good bye.
I let out the cry I had been holding in the minute she disappeared from view. I was hyperventilating. It couldn’t be true. Not only had my mother casually tossed me aside, but she had been wanting to get rid of me my whole life. My whole life had been a lie. I reminded her of a man she once loved, but now hated. A man she claimed was my real father.
I didn’t know how many surprises I could take anymore. Everyone was lying to me. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. All at once, every doubt, every stab of pain, every lie, every insecurity, everything came crashing down on me. My body felt like it was about to explode, emotions overwhelming me. It was too much. All of it was too much. The reality of what was up ahead hit me as well. Blow, after blow, after blow, after blow. I was going to die. I thought I had accepted that fact, but I hadn’t. I wasn’t ready to die. I wasn’t done yet. There were things I still wanted – had to do.
Just when I thought I couldn’t take much more, I fainted, my senses overloaded.
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A Necessary Evil (Book 1)
Fantasy**One can be evil, and still have a good heart, just as one can be good but still have a heart tainted by evil.** "There was an undeniable comfort and stability in a stable future, at having every detail of your life meticulously planned out. But ev...
