British Boy

Chapter Eleven

Feelings were not something that I always handled decently. I've always had a hard time confronting them. I was one to normally let them wash away and forget about them until it was too late. I was crippled by everything that I ever felt and I hated being this way. Everything I ever wanted was thrown away by my feelings. The first time I fell for Berkley was one of the first times I let myself feel things and not let them hinder me.

I was currently in my apartment with Berkley book in my lap. I was about a hundred pages in when I realized I wasn't really paying attention to what I was reading. My mind was too preoccupied with what happened last night in Berkley's room. I told Holden it wasn't a good idea and he pushed it on me. I wasn't going to be in a good place if I had to keep training him.

Even though I didn't really like the other trainers, I would rather have been working my normal jobs than train him. If I knew I would feel the way I do right now, I would never have agreed with Holden. But maybe the jealous shrew inside of me was the one who spoke. The one who would do anything to hold the man she's so in love with for the rest of her life.

"Poppy?" I heard through the door. "Open up, please. Can we just talk?" I placed the book face down on the coffee table and walked over to the door and pulled it open.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I want to talk about yesterday," he said, pushing his way through the door. "You just up and left after we finished things. Why?"

"I trained you and I left," I shrugged. "Didn't think I had to stay."

"That's the problem, Pop. You didn't think," he sighed and ran his fingers over his hair. I took in his appearance and it doesn't look like he slept last night. I haven't really slept either if I'm honest. "You think it's okay to do some of the things you do and it's not. The whole time we were together, you constantly did things without thinking of how it affected me."

"I'm sorry if I thought I was doing the right thing," I snapped. "But just to remind you, the world doesn't revolve around you. You may feel hurt right now, but you'll get over it. You always do."

"I'm still not over the fact that you left me years ago!" he yelled at me. "You dropped off the face of the planet and all of a sudden, we're in the same place at the same time. You—I don't even know how you live with yourself because of all the shit you do."

"It's easy if you don't give a shit about anything," I shrugged and sat back down on the sofa. I leaned over and grabbed the book off the coffee table and propped it on my chest.

"You need to care about stuff, Poppy! You can't just waltz around pretending everything is just fine and dandy. You pretend everything is fine and then, all of a sudden, you get angry about something. With you, we're always going around and around until you always win the argument."

"You see, you're arguing with me and I'm not really listening. So the only one who is arguing with you....is you." I deadpanned at him.

"Real mature," Berkley scoffed. "Poppy, you're ignoring me. You doing this won't solve whatever issue you have with me."

I chose not to answer him at this point in time. I could honestly care less. Berkley's standing in front of me with crossed arms and looking really cross. I tried to ignore him, but his loud, boisterous voice was hard to ignore. Especially when the whole apartment echoes.

"Oh for fuck's sake, I'm not ignoring you, Berkley," I sighed as I looked up to him. "I'm simply tuning you out because your argument is invalid."

"Invalid?"

"Yes, your argument is stupid. What happened in the past is in the past. We're in the present, Berkley. What happens today, or even tomorrow, is all that matters," I said as I waved the book around as I spoke. His eyes flickered to the object in my hands and he immediately walked over to me and grabbed it from my hand.

"These are my proofs," He gaped as he looked over it. "You—what the fuck, Poppy?"

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"You were the one who stole these from Irv," he tossed me the book. "I had to look over it for errors, I gave it back to him, and suddenly he had a wild night and the proofs were gone. There is only one copy of it in the world right now. So imagine my surprise to find you with the copy."

"Well, if I had known that, would I have taken it? Probably, but that's beside the point," I shook my head. "I wanted to see what was going on in your life. Okay? That's why I took it." 

Hey Everyone!

So sorry for the REALLY LATE upload. But I hope you liked this chapter! 

~Amanda