Laila

Chapter 37

I thought sleeping next to Farid was not going be that hard, but boy was I wrong. I usually like turning right and left before going to sleep, until I find the right sleeping position. But since Farid and I were sharing the bed, I was having such a hard time sleeping. I looked at the clock and the time now was 4:15am. I signed. The time was going by so slow.

'Can't sleep?' I heard Farid speak. He was awake too. I slowly turned around and saw him looking at me.

I shook my head.

'Is it because I am here?' He was blunt.

'No, I am not used to this. I sleep alone' I told him.

Farid scooted a little closer to me.

'Well since both of us can't sleep. Let's talk' He whispered.

'What do you want to talk about?' I was glad that he offered to talk, maybe that was I could get to know him better.

'You' 

'There isn't much about to know about me. You know most of it' 

'How about your father?' I knew this question was coming.

'He committed suicide when I was young. I don't remember him much, but I do know that he...'

'Loved you...' Farid touched my hand and squeezed it.

'I miss him' I told Farid, that's something that I never said to anyone even my mother because I knew she'd be sad if I mention that to her. 

'Your mother cares about you' Farid was a completely different person now, he was comforting me and being gentle. I couldn't help but smile.

'What?' He chuckled. 

'I have never seen you like this' I told him and looked at our joined hands.

'Like what?' He asked.

'Concerned' 

'When it comes to you, I am concerned' Farid brought his face closer to mine, just inches away from mine. I wanted to scream and tell him to get away, but I couldn't. I was frozen and wholly captivated by his intense eyes.

'Why are you concerned about me Farid?'

Farid hands left mine and he placed his hands on my waist and took over my side of the bed. We were literally cuddling.

'Farid please' I finally found my words again. At this point, I wasn't too sure about what I was begging for. Moments like this with him felt like hours, each second felt like a lifetime on its own.

'Fuck it'He breathed into my eyes and suddenly brought his lips to mine. I didn't realize I was tugging his ear until I heard his moaning. This was such a new territory for me, I never had a boyfriend before and never had an intimate connection with anyone. The way Farid said my name when he tugged me on top of him was the craziest feeling ever. Farid pulled away his t-shirt and took both of my hands and placed it back on his shoulders.

'You are something else Laila' He lips trailed down from my lips to my neck and I felt a sharp pain when he took my skin in between in teeth.  His hands left my waist and I felt him tugging my shirt. Was I ready?

My eyes popped right open and I pushed myself away from him.

I pulled my shirt down and walked over to my computer table. I couldn't stand to look at him. Why was it so difficult be wit or without him?

Farid walked over to me and grabbed my arm but I jerked away.

'Don't touch me Farid' I snapped at him but he didn't listen as usual and grabbed my arm again to make me face him.

'What? What do you want from me? I told you I am in love with you and you walked away. Then when I tell you that I have taken off my wedding ring, you get mad at me. One minute you tell me you don't want me and then you say you care about me? What should I do?' I started crying.

'I am sorry, I told you I am selfish man Laila...honestly even I don't know what I am doing'

'I am just tired Farid, if you can't have me then let me go' I looked at him and pleaded.

'Do you think I haven't tried Laila, I thought it was going to be easy. I thought I'll marry you, get my money and go back to my old life and now I don't even know where I stand?' He sounded so arrogant that I wanted to slap him but I didn't it.

'You are wrong' I backed away from him but it was no use again because he simply took a step forward and we are close yet again.

'Am I?' He pushed me against the wall and invaded my space.

I nodded.

'Then why did you kiss me back?' He knew he was winning this battle.

'I kissed you back because I...' I wanted to tell him again that I loved him but I knew he only wanted to hear it, Farid was far away from admitting it to himself.

I noticed him smirk. That's it.

'I am done explaining myself to you, think whatever you want' I pushed him as hard as I could cause I honestly didn't care about hurting him anymore. 

'Okay, I am sorry. Come back here...it's not like we have anywhere else to go, we are stuck for tonight' He sat on the side of the bed.

'At least wear your t-shirt' I picked his shirt from the floor and threw it on his face. Once he was dressed I sat on the other side of the bed and stared at the wall.

'Can't we just try to become friends? I am honestly exhausted from fighting with you' I looked at him after a while.

'You think we can be friends after what just happened?' 

'We can try' I shrugged.

'Okay' He responded after taking his time. Farid reached out his hand for me to shake.

'And no more this' I moved my hand between us.

'No more of what?' He copied my gesture. 

'Gosh, you know what I am talking about' I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

'Okay fine, no more this. But you'll have to help me' 

'How?' I asked him.

'Laila, you'll have to stop your eyes from begging me to kiss you' He said.

'My eyes don't beg for anything' I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes.

'Yes they do...you know what they say?' Farid started putting the cushions back on the bed to create a wall between us.

I stayed silent and sadly Farid didn't answer his own question. 

'Goodnight friend' He whispered in my ears just before I fell asleep.