Three

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I must have drifted off to the classic black and white, because I suddenly found myself outside my old house on Maple Lane in Hallow Springs. It was raining cats and dogs, but our's stayed inside trying to keep dry. Suzie didn't waste any time grabbing her raincoat and rain boots. She hopscotched the length of our driveway, making sure to land in the two small craters in the asphalt.

Splash

Suzie spun back to me with the wildest excitement like the time she figured out how to pop bubble wrap for the first time. I couldn't help but to crack up. It was one of those moments where you discover another layer to your child's cuteness. Sam, my husband, came out on the porch to see what the ruckus was all about.

"What's going on?" Sam Parker was tall, handsome and had a physique that made the local mom's group blush. He was a man, a real one – not one of those skinny jeaned, flannel shirt wearing hipsters. He actually owned an axe and by how his chest was built from side to side you could tell he did. Even though he was carved out of wood he had gentle hazel eyes and he listened with just the right amount of advice when I'd vent all of my frustrations, whether they be my family, friends or job. He had a composure about him that lent comfort and stability for me. He never missed a chance to tell me how beautiful I was and he never missed a chance to play with Suzie.

I nodded toward her in the driveway, which caused dimples formed around his smile as he saw Suzie splashing about and sending waves down the street.

He ran out into the rain in his slippers. He grabbed her and started swinging her around as he sung, "Splish Splash I was taking a bath!"

She squealed a giggle and began holding onto her daddy even tighter. They spun around, as if she was the propeller and were about to take off. It was like a carousel of smiling faces. I then realized it was a just a dream and this memory happened in a former life, one far removed from my current one. I began crying and then the carousel slowed and the smiling faces fell as my daughter and husband saw me.

"Amanda?" Sam asked, concerned at the sight of me crying.

"Mommy? What's wrong?" And then an alarm blared. Sam and Suzie shot up, their posture straight as a pencil, as they searched for the source of the sound. And then it grew louder and louder. She fell to a knee and covered her ears as the blaring alarm grew unbearable. She screamed as loud as she could as I snapped back to reality.

I darted up from my pillow, reaching to catch my breath. Loose strands of hair were caked against my temples – I had sweat through my sheets again. I slapped my bedside table until I could find the alarm that was ringing through my dream. I silenced my cell phone and rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. I drank some water and stared myself down in the mirror.

How depressed was I? How crazy was I? Did I need my pills?

I raised my hand to my reflection and pulled the mirror. It swung off the wall, revealing my well stocked medicine cabinet. I scanned the inventory shelves of different medications all in their own orange prescription bottle. My fingers stopped at the Xanax. I popped a couple of them along with a Zoloft. It was my own little pathetic cocktail – the kind that trophy wives took for their so-called problems. Back in the day, a Long Island Iced Tea used to do the trick but that was before everything happened.

A cold, November dawn peered in from the blinds – bars of light shined into the room, illuminating an undecorated, drab master bedroom. Pinterest would be ashamed. In all fairness, I was married to my job. I was barely ever home. The cases offered me a little reprieve from my depression so naturally I allowed them to occupy my mind all the time. As a result, I excelled at my job and I could make it through the day without putting a bullet in my head.

My phone bellowed out again, but this time it wasn't the alarm bell but a ring. I eyed the time first – it was 6:15 – way too early to call for something that could wait. Then the Caller ID came into view Chief Buckner. The Charlotte Police Chief was calling me, what the hell?

I snagged my phone, cleared my throat and answered.

"Hello?"

"Graves..."

"Yes sir."

"Sorry for calling you so early, but I have a special assignment for you that I need you on immediately."

"Yes sir."

"I hear you are originally from Hallow Springs..."


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