3. Yellow pigges, ancient men, and an insufferable boss

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Another update!!! I tweaked the last part of this chapter so I'll take maybe a few days to update the next one as I'll have to probably write a new part haha.

It'd be amazing if you guys could vote and comment! (I love comments so much and I usually read all of them.)

Hope you like this chapter. 😁

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I gave a handful of coins to the driver and promptly fell out of the chaise before he could return me the change. I didn't insist on recieving the spare money, and even told the driver that I didn't need any help because I was determined to be more generous than a particular stone cold git! The runty man seemed more than happy to ride away from where I was lying.

Picking myself up from the ground was a mighty problem and walking was out of the question.

The floor attacked me ceaselessly and without someone immune to the road's temper to support me, I was helpless.

"Blast you!" I punched the ground and came up with a bloody fist. "Stop being such an uncopi - uncup - uncoorporative twat!"

My knuckles screamed in pain but I ignored them. A little blood wasn't going to stop me.

When I finally considered it safe to lift my body off, the floor buckled once again and I was flung into a disarray of limbs, my arms over my head and legs twisted awkwardly.

"Grrrk!" Spluttering in rage with a chunk of tailcoat in my mouth, I spat the fabric out then untangled my limbs.

"Where are you Napoleon?" I cried out. Surely the French leader would help a fellow warrior? To my astonishment, it was King Arthur who made a grand appearance with his mighty sword, escalated, or was it excalibur? I racked my brains and eventually gave up when I couldn't decide on its name.

The main gist was that he wielded his impressive sword and took a seat on the stairs.

"Aren't you fictional?" I blurted rudely and the king sent a disapproving look my way.

"Oh I'm sorry you majesty." I tried to bow while lying chest down on the ground, and knocked my forehead in the process. "This is the first time you have graced me with your present -presence. Will you please help me up? My muscles seem to be rub-rebelling against me."

He sniffed in disdain and began carving patterns into the stone steps with the blade. Two yellow and red dotted piggies sat next to him, snickering.

They didn't want to help me, did they?

Their scorn only fuelled my determination. I grumbled curses and resorted to crawling my way to my destination. I heaved and grunted with the exertion, dragging my body and battling the pavement's tantrum.

Out of the blue, a sudden muffled scream sounded from beside me. I twisted my head towards the noise so fast that my neck almost snapped. I shrieked in response.

The screaming stopped. "What are you doing on the ground, sir?" The portly night porter gasped, eyes wide as saucers, when he realised that I was a 'man' and not a gargantuan ground slug.

Portly porter, that rhymed. I chuckled.

"Are you alright?" The porter garnered up his courage and crept up to me cautiously. "Do you need help?"

At the mention of help, my eyes lit up and I yelled, "Yes!"

He stammered, obviously in awe of King Arthur, the red spotted yellow piggies and my grandeur, "Ho-how may I aid you sir?"

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