❝ Writing two best-selling books, easy, confronting my feelings..not so easy❞
Before, Florence Clarke loved someone who was cruelly taken away from her, but life went on and she learnt that it should not only go on, but become better, writing and th...
Florence had never meant to fall in love with Andrew, she'd had a plan, a solid and good plan in her mind for what her three years at college where going to be like, looking back on them in hindsight she realised hardly any of her idealised visions of what her life would be like had ever been real, they were just foolish ideas.
She had made friends, and a good deal of enemies at the same time, she had studied, taken exam after exam and drove back to Phillipson whenever she could.
But with Andrew there had never been a game plan, no way of knowing that she was falling hard before she finally hit the ground with a resounding thump, they had been friends at first, the kind of friends who memorised each other's lesson timetables and knew the complicated way they both preferred their coffee, he had been the first friend she had ever made at Colchester and something about that had made them stick together like glue.
For a year she had allowed herself to heal and to grieve like she never could have back in her hometown where everyone knew too much and wouldn't allow her to both commemorate her past and move on at the same time, she couldn't say she missed the constant gossip and rumours that passed from one ear to another.
She hadn't wanted to think about anything except studying, hadn't even wanted very close friends she had Cooper who just four months after she had bid goodbye had given birth to a beautiful baby girl by the name of Amberly, and in Florence's opinion the most adorable child who had ever lived, she had been named willing god daughter of the bundle of joy and considered it one of her greatest achievements.
What had happened with her and Cole, she'd never understand, he'd sent her a brief email thanking her for her book, not even bothered to write her a letter and from that day on the two of them hadn't exchanged a single word, there were no words to be spoken, Florence stayed at her parents house every time she went back home and a large sum of the profits from Descent were paid into his bank account, it was a sad but true fact of life, sometimes people just lost touch and drifted away.
But looking back on their complicated history she had realised that there were many things she would do differently if she could repeat the past, occasionally she saw Charlie and they would give each other an awkward wave and head nod, the last time they had seen each other Florence had seen the diamond glint of an engagement ring on her finger, she would have asked who she was marrying, but they weren't on those kind of terms anymore.
Phillipson was home to three of her favourite people in the world, Colchester housed the rest of them.
Such as Andrew beaming across her from the table, holding her hand in his, he had been just what she needed, a good friend who didn't want to be anything more than that until she wanted to, he was caring, kind and attentive, on paper and in reality he was possibly the best boyfriend she could ask for.
He was also her closest confidante, he'd read both her books, travelled across the country with her to book signings and got her an extra strong coffee when she was having one of those days, she'd told him about Chase, the hospital and most importantly about her regrets at how she and Cole had left things.
If Chase had been the love of her old life, Andrew was the love of her new life, inside her burned a candle that could never be blown out, its flame containing all the things she had ever loved about him, in front of her sat her way of moving on.
So she couldn't quite understand why she was so shocked when Andrew stood up and got down on one knee, or why she dropped her glass of wine all over the table, red spilling like blood onto pearly white, they had been an item for over two years and lately had been having long night conversations about their plans for their future together.
She was twenty-three, plenty of people became engaged at twenty-three, she wasn't exactly going to be a teenage bride.
But still...
She felt giddy, but didn't know whether it was a good type of giddy or a really needing to throw up in the nearest sink kind of giddy.
And there Andrew kneeled looking up at her with such adoration, he was putting himself on the line like this, every single eye in the room was fixated on the two of them.
"Florence Clarke, will you marry me?"
Those were the words, the words she'd heard and read a million times in movies, on television shows, in books and YouTube videos, this was a well rehearsed scene and as the leading lady in the film of her life she was almost compelled to say yes, she loved Andrew.
"Yes, yes I'll marry you"
The words were out of her mouth before she even knew the true weight of them, this wasn't just an exchange of words, it was a commitment and a conformation that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
Her world seemed to shift back into focus again, this was her Andrew proposing to her in this extravagant restaurant looking so delighted at her words.
She was up and in his arms not even caring that this was probably being filmed.
"I love you, I love you, I love you"
How many people had she said these words to?
Love wasn't something you counted.
"I love you too Flo, always"
And she felt deep inside her the flame flicker ever so slightly as she clung on tight to Andrew's jacket and a shadow of foreboding making its way across the cheering onlookers and hovering in the air between them.
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