poetry

i want to say everything

why is it so hard to admit my feelings for him? why can't i tell him? i want to tell him everything. how i feel, how he makes me feel, what happiness he brings to me, my secrets, and that i love him. except, i can't. i'm too scared. i'm afraid of what he will think. what if he doesn't feel the same? why is it so complicated? why can't i just go up to him and talk? they way he makes me feel is crazy. when someone talks to me about him, i blush like crazy. my heart flutters and it's like butterflies are having a family reunion in my stomach. i smile so hard. just the thought of him drives me wild. why is it so easy to admit it to people i don't know but when it comes to him, i can't talk? i've developed so many feelings for him, i'm afraid to talk to him in general. i'm so afraid of accidentally telling him i like him without realizing it. i'm afraid to talk to him. i hate that. he means so much to me, yet all i've been able to do lately is avoid him. it's like i can't get near him, but every time i try a force pulls me back. if i get to close, i know i'll admit my feelings, but i don't think i'm ready to. don't get me wrong, i want to so bad, but i can't. i get tongue tied and the words don't come out. i get choked up and can't speak. i want to tell him everything i love about him. his smile, his eyes, his style, and most importantly his personality. he has such a great sense of humor. if i can say everything here and pour my feelings out to a bunch of strangers, why can't i do the same with him?

// i swear i'm love stuck.