Firelight

Chap Eleven

"confessions"

If my heartbeat were put under a speed meter, I would most certainly be arrested for over-speeding.

I gulped hard and gazed in his eyes, which suddenly had this hazy, soft brown look to them, staring at his eyes reminded me of my favorite chocolate ice cream. Which was bad, why am I suddenly starting to have these physical contractions? Wasn't he supposed to be this nerd I was supposed to avoid? I know how I mentioned about not caring on social labels and the like, but for some reason I suddenly care about what everyone at school would think if they saw us right now, looking intimate, him holding my hand, which I wasn't even aware of, maybe my nerves all shut down right after he started to touch my skin. Wait, what am I saying? Erase, erase!

"What are you thinking about?"

I blinked a couple of times and re-adjusted the focus of my eyes, he was peering at me closely, his head tilted and his brows fused together in wonder, and his lips were pursed a bit. What did I say about caring about what people said? Never mind.

"Nothing" I said, surprised at how calm I was despite the rock concert currently taking place in my chest.

"Well, I believe we have unfinished business" He said with a slight smirk. There's the Noah I'm familiar with, I raised an eyebrow, "What business?" He rolled his eyes. "At the pool? Forget already?"

If my body hadn't been warm already then I was sure I was on fire right now. Do we really have to talk about that? I glanced at him and he looked goofy, but there was that determined vibe in his look, I sighed. I guess we're doing this right now.

"What do you want to talk about?"

He pursed his lips again and tucked his chin between his fingers, he pretended to think about it, mockingly. I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm, he chuckled and cleared his throat, "Okay, okay. First question, why don't you talk to me anymore? Ever since we got back from summer camp after eighth grade, you just seemed, withdrawn, like you stopped hanging out with me in our usual spot during lunch, you never show up on Saturdays when we were used to play video games every afternoon. And then you just stopped talking to me all together, and Alicia just followed suit. What happened, A?"

The way he said my name with that baritone voice, I know I hear it all the time, but being this close to him, and the seriousness of this whole situation, my body suddenly shot a sudden thrill just by hearing it.

I opened my mouth to try and respond, but I couldn't seem to form the words, so I just kept opening and closing my mouth like a gaping fish. How could I tell him what I really feel? How could I tell him that I had a crush on him ever since I first laid my eyes on him? How everytime I looked at him, my chest hurt, because he looked so damn gorgeous in my eyes. How do I tell him that I felt so hurt when he gave me all those mixed signals during eighth grade, only for him to ask another girl out for the Campfire Dance. I put so much effort on how I looked, even Alicia and the rest of the girls in my cabin laughed at my poor attempts of putting on makeup, but I still wore it anyway. How do I tell him that even when he hurt me, even when he made me feel like a complete fool of myself, I still thought he was the handsomest boy I ever saw.

In a small voice I told him, "If I tell you I would have to kill you"

He furrowed his eyebrows at first, but then he laughed, loudly. He kept laughing, and put a hand on his stomach, he was even starting to have tears form on the corners of his eyes, I crossed my arms and tried to keep the smile that was starting to form on my lips.

As annoying at how he could easily switch the seriousness of a situation into a humorous one is honestly very talented of him, but I liked him being aloof more, I like how he laughed so much that his stomach hurt, and I was reminded of everything that made me fall for him in the first place. My cheeks warmed at the recollection and bit the inside of my cheeks, find your chill Ava.

When he stopped laughing after a long moment, he still had a grin on his face, "But for real, just tell me. It's been bugging me for a really, really long time now"

Hugging myself, I exhaled loudly, is this seriously the moment this happens? The universe couldn't have chosen a better moment? But I deal with what I have and I guess this is what I get, better make use of it. I glanced at him and saw his smile, and I almost melted. Noah Campbell, I give up, you have officially broke down my walls.

So fuck it, fuck what everyone has to say.

I did what any rational girl would do at a situation like this, I kissed him.