Island Vibes

23. a lot

Noah had perked up ever so slightly since the day began, but something about him was still kind of off. I wanted to ask outright - because what good would come of us dancing around this weirdness, really? - but I worried that it would be something too deep for him to want to share with me.

We hadn't known each other properly for very long, after all. While I felt like we were close, I wasn't sure if the same was true of him. I usually took a while to get friendly and familiar with most people, so the way we were around each other was kind of a huge deal for me. I got the feeling, however, that Noah was probably like that with everyone.

We chatted idly en route to get our drinks, and even the fact that we both managed to snag a coveted pineapple-coconut smoothie didn't get much of a reaction from Noah. 

I resolved to say something, somehow. I had to ask. Even from a purely selfish point of view, let alone the fact that I cared about him and wanted him to be happy. It just would have driven me crazy to not know what the deal was.

We paid up – well, Noah did, as per his agreement – and headed back out, but I stopped before we could both get back in the van, and Noah followed suit, turning back to look at me.

"Can we drive back up to that viewing point?"

Noah frowned curiously, then shrugged. "Sure," he said, with a nod. "You're the boss."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the grin that spread its way across my face.

Noah hopped back into the van and took a long slurp of his drink. He put his smoothie into the cup holder and buckled up, only turning to look at me then. "What are we going for?"

I kept drinking my smoothie to give me time to think up an answer.

"Selfies," I smirked, knowing it was a response that Noah would believe and hate. "I really need to get my follower count up," I said, nodding super-seriously.

Noah tutted quietly but otherwise didn't make fun of me – another sign that something was wrong. Still, a slight smile was creeping in at the corners of his lips, so I hoped everything was kind of alright, really.

He pulled out of the mini car park and started on the route we'd taken before, winding us up through the most breathtaking scenery. It still made my breath catch in my chest, the scale of the greenery. It was unlike anywhere else. Soon, we were high up enough that I could clearly see the ocean again, too, and I found myself beaming out at the sight. How was I going to leave this all behind at the end of summer?

We pulled up at the top exactly like we had before, but this time I made Noah wait for a moment while I put a little extra sunscreen on my face.

"Did I get it all?" I asked Noah, once I thought I was probably done rubbing all of the lotion in.

Noah smiled at the face I pulled as I tilted my head left and right, my features all scrunched up, and he nodded. Surprised again at his lack of mockery, I used the little bit of excess I had on my fingertips to reach out and lightly dab a smear of the stuff onto the tip of his nose.

Noah flinched back and laughed, groaning. "Okay, unfair," he protested. "You know I don't have anything to retaliate with," he chuckled.

"I'm keeping you safe from the sun!" I said, protesting. "You're welcome."

Noah shook his head and started to climb out of the van. "You're awful," he teased back at me, and things started to feel a little more normal.

I flipped my sunglasses down from atop my head and put them on properly, then scrambled out after him. I got my phone out in case I really did want to take a selfie or two, but left it locked while I wandered to the barrier and rested my forearms over it.

I looked back out at the view, temporarily mesmerized. Noah was quiet too, but I wasn't sure if that was down to the view or not. He leaned down to rest on the wooden barrier as well, and I watched him fuss with his hair for a few moments as he tried to keep it out of his eyes in spite of the breeze.

Eventually, I found my voice.

"So, um. Is everything okay?" I definitely sounded more nervous than I'd wanted to. It was stupid – I'd never been the kind of person to beat around the bush, but I really couldn't gauge where Noah was at with me.

He was surprised, though, I was sure of that. His eyebrows flicked up. He seemed to watch my expression for a moment before hanging his head.

"I'm fine," he said. "Like, for real," he smiled, but it wasn't quite as blindingly heart-stoppingly genuine as it normally was.

"For real, for real?" I teased him, looking back out at the scenery because I didn't want to amp up the pressure by staring at him while I quasi-interrogated him.

"Yes, for real," Noah chuckled. "I mean..."

I quirked an eyebrow, but kept looking out ahead, hoping I wouldn't put him off.

"Things are hard, y'know? Not-- not this, not work, that's going great," he said, his words all speeding up like he was almost worried I'd have him fired otherwise.

I laughed a little, nodding. "Yeah, we're doing pretty good," I said, thinking about all the progress we'd made. The dusty, rundown building we'd begun with was actually starting to resemble a functioning building that a business could operate out of. We'd done well.

"But everything else. It's such a small community," he sighed, "and I don't want to upset everyone."

I bit at my bottom lip, uncertain of how much digging I wanted to do. Luckily, Noah seemed to be happy to do all the digging himself.

"Melissa's family can be..." Noah trailed off and he grimaced, trying to find the right words. "A lot."

I nodded, making a quiet mm noise that said I was listening and paying attention. His girlfriend had actually, somehow, slipped to the back of my mind lately. It was weird hearing him say her name and my brain not immediately leaping to jealousy or irritation or anything.

"If I-- I mean, they-- they just-- they wouldn't..." Noah was clearly struggling, and he stopped there rather than muddle ahead.

We both stayed quiet. Noah's brows were pulled together as he looked out at the sweeping landscape ahead, and I looked directly down at the drop in front of us.

I wanted to know what was wrong, but not at the expense of rifling through Noah's brain while it was swirling around whatever issue had cropped up. I started thinking of all the possibilities as I sipped at my smoothie, until my mind was busy with theories.

Noah turned to look at me just as I blinked back over at him, ready to make some kind of half-assed attempt at a joke. Good talk, I'd have said, and we'd have had a brief chuckle and headed back to the car. Everything would've been fine.

Instead, Noah kissed me.