Island Vibes

24. we get on

Every single atom that made up my body tingled. That may have sounded super dramatic but Noah was kissing me. My head was about to explode. My heart was pounding. My brain was in overdrive. It was like I was lit up, full of electricity.

Noah was an annoyingly good kisser. His hand brushed back through my hair, and he held me close. That citronella-cinammon scent was on him; faintly, but it was there. It made me think of his room, of playing with Milo the kitten and drinking too much on an empty stomach and meeting Melissa, Noah's girlfriend.

I practically felt chills. Noah's girlfriend. God, not this again.

I shrank back, taking the tiniest baby step away from Noah, and he broke apart our kiss.

He was either looking at the ground or still had his eyes shut, and I bit my bottom lip. What was I supposed to say? I dropped my gaze to the ground too, looking down at my sandals, then out at the view. Maybe we just wouldn't talk about it. That could work. I wouldn't have to tell his girlfriend, it wouldn't have to be awkward, and I'd be leaving at the end of the season anyway. That'd be fine.

Except I felt like I had snails squirming around in my stomach, and I was pretty sure I couldn't put up with that feeling for the next couple of months.

"Noah," I began, all disappointment and confusion. It was possibly the best kiss I'd had – admittedly, his competition was only an inexperienced high school boyfriend and a few on/off relationships at college – but I couldn't let it go any further.

"Don't say anything," Noah mumbled, finally looking up. The breeze picked up, and it ruffled his hair all out of place. He pushed a hand back through it and a part of my brain struggled to focus on the hideous situation he'd just created because... he'd kissed me. That guy – the handsome guy with the perfectly messy hair and the chocolate brown eyes and the crooked grin – had kissed me.

I was so sad it made him a cheater.

"Please, just-- let me think for a second, Cal?" He looked nervous, almost like he wanted to sit down and take a breather. He turned away from me and I looked at his back for a moment, clueless, before raising my smoothie and taking a long sip, smacking my lips once I was done to wipe away the last of Noah.

He could have a second to think, sure. But if he thought I was keeping quiet or becoming his secret side chick, he had another thing coming.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he eventually said, blowing out a heavy, labored breath. "Can I take you home?" He suddenly re-interpreted his words and panicked. "I mean-- home, your home, really--"

I looked back out at all the trees and the sea, highlighting our current location. "Well, I'm not walking," I muttered, cutting across him and trying to lighten the situation just a little bit.

Noah didn't crack a grin, but he made a sound that approximated his usual happy laugh.

"Are you, like, okay to drive?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "I mean... don't you wanna, um. Talk about this, maybe?" I chuckled a little, shrugging at the dummy that stood before me.

His puppy-dog eyes were lost and wide, and I realized he was crumbling.

"Noah?"

"Yeah," he said, seemingly jolting back to reality with a clear of his throat. "Yeah, uh. I'm not... I'm sorry," he said, grimacing as he looked at me. "I really don't know what I'm doing."

I smiled a little, trying to make him feel better even though I was still kind of disappointed in him.

"How about I drive?" I asked, offering out a hand for his car keys. "And how about we talk about this once we're back in Maluhia?"

Noah cleared his throat again. His vacant eyes scanned the horizon, then my face, then his car. He nodded. "Yeah," he mumbled, fishing for his keys before throwing them to me.

We drove back in near-silence, with Noah occasionally piping up to give me directions. I nearly got us lost at least twice, but we somehow wound up back on the right track eventually.

My heart was still hammering away in my chest the entire time, because I kept replaying what had happened in my head. I'd been practically daydreaming about this happening since the day I got here, but Noah couldn't have chosen a worse time. I'd finally been over his relationship status, and I'd accepted that we were legitimately just friends – right as Noah had decided maybe we weren't.

Truthfully, I wasn't sure what he'd decided – if he'd decided anything at all. He seemed as lost and confused as I felt, only he was way worse at hiding it. He was staring out of the window the whole drive back like he was scared to make eye contact with me.

When I pulled up outside the café, he finally started to come around.

"Look, Callie--"

"You have to tell Melissa," I said, pre-empting whatever it was he could possibly have to say. I said it mildly, but firmly. It was non-negotiable, in my opinion.

"Callie, I mean it, I didn't mean for that to happen," he continued, almost as if I hadn't mentioned Melissa at all, "but we've been working together this whole time and we get on, like, really well, and I just wasn't thinking, I guess?" He ticked his voice up, like it was a question.

Something tightened in my chest, because he was right. We'd connected, for sure, but I couldn't let him do this to his girlfriend.

"You also get on really well with your girlfriend," I said, my tone spiking a little.

Noah visibly bristled. "Well, sure," he said, slowly, like he wasn't sure how to explain that away. It took him a few moments, and I decided – charitably – to wait. "But she's not you."

That struck me right in the chest. I looked at him, hurt and offended. It was exactly what I wanted to hear. And I couldn't let him get away with it.

"You have. A girlfriend," I said, the words coming out stilted. I was getting more emotional, and I couldn't brush it off as easily now as I had when it'd actually happened, not with his reasoning behind it. I'd thought maybe it had been a spell of temporary madness, like the altitude had gotten to his mind or whatever – but instead he was actually actively trying to cheat on Melissa.

"Cal," he said, sighing my name as if the argument was tired already.

"Don't," I said, huffing and leaving the keys behind me on the seat as I popped open the door and hopped out of the van. Noah scrambled out after me and I started to worry about my next move. I wasn't sure where to turn – he'd follow me into the café, but it wasn't like I had any other immediate options.

"Callie," he called, admittedly packing his voice full of remorse.

"Would you just quit it?" I said, possibly more sharply than I'd wanted to as I turned back around to glare at him.

"Whoah," a voice said. "What's happening here?"

I turned again, and saw Brie enjoying our outburst from the sidewalk. She raised an eyebrow and looked between her brother and myself, smirking as if she'd won a prize.