Imperial

41. Roshani

Roshani walked briskly through the palace halls, advisors and generals rushing to keep pace with her. Youtab huffed at the fast pace, but kept up a constant stream of questions and warnings.

"Your highness, I don't see why you have to go yourself," he argued. "Sending your troops will be enough. It's safer for you to stay in the palace."

"I need to be there, Youtab," she said, glancing sharply at him out of the corner of her eye. "I can't sit in the palace and wait this entire war out. It's time for me to act, and to be seen acting."

At last she reached her destination. She flung open the doors to the chamber and strode purposefully inside. Katayoun sat in a low cushioned chair by the wide window, rocking Kasra back and forth in her arms.

"Roshani," she said in surprise, standing up as Roshani entered. She still wasn't used to addressing her as 'her highness', though perhaps she could make an exception for her grandmother.

Roshani ignored her surprise and walked towards her, until they stood right next to each other. She looked down at Kasra's babyish, perfect face. His eyes were sleepy still, but they immediately opened wide in delight when he caught sight of her.

Roshani grinned down at him. She opened her arms, and Katayoun immediately gave Kasra to her to hold. He laughed, gurgled, his bright green eyes squinting up at her. He had grown so much in just a few months, Roshani could hardly believe her eyes. He was dressed just like a little prince, in an embroidered silk outfit in reds and gold, a polished ruby pendant laced around his small, pudgy neck.

"I'm going away for a while," she said. She wasn't sure whether or not she was talking to Kasra, Katayoun, or both of them. They were, in effect, the only family she had left now. Tears pricked the corner of her eyes unbidden. She frowned, feelings of anger at herself boiling to the surface. Why was she crying? She couldn't afford to show such weakness.

Katayoun said nothing, pretending not to notice, as Roshani quickly wiped the tears away.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, hoping that only Kasra could hear. Again, if Katayoun noticed, she feigned ignorance.

Roshani cleared her throat and spoke louder.

"I'm trusting you to take care of him while I'm gone," she said, punctuating every word. She looked up to pierce Katayoun with her stare. "Do you understand?"

Katayoun met her gaze defiantly. She looked frail and old still, but stronger than she had been since leaving her cell. She had regained some of her old tenacity back. Roshani wasn't entirely sure that that was a good thing.

"He's my grandson," Katayoun replied. "I'd give my life before I let anything happen to him."

Roshani kept her gaze locked with her grandmother's for another moment and an understanding seemed to pass between them: Kasra's safety and happiness was now the biggest priority for both of them. They could cooperate for his sake.

"Good," Roshani said, turning her focus back to Kasra as he yanked at the strands of her hair, craving her attention. "I can't say how long the battle will last. I'll send word immediately when it's over."

"Where are you marching?" Katayoun asked.

"Varaz."

At this, the old woman cracked a bitter smile. "Well, perhaps the gods do mete out justice after all," she said dryly. "If anyone deserves to suffer in this war, it's Goshtab. It's quite amusing, to see him caught in the middle."

Roshani arched a brow curiously, but made no comments. She'd heard vague half-remembered stories of the relationship between Katayoun and Goshtab Varaz. Goshtab had wished to marry her when they were young, and she'd harshly refused him.

They'd been rivals at court and in the political field of the empire ever since. There had been one point in time, the time when her father had been young still, that Katayoun and Goshtab had been the two most powerful people in Sazia. No longer, however. Katayoun was deposed, and soon even Goshtab would be brought to his knees.

It simultaneously made her sigh and relief and want to curl up with fear, how frighteningly fast the state of the world could change. All it took was once mistake, one step out of line, and everything could come toppling down.

Roshani banished the thoughts from her mind. There was no room for fear, no time for it. Kasra laughed again and she took a deep breath, letting his innocence and joy wash over her. He, at least, would survive this war, no matter the outcome. Roshani would make sure of it.

She brought Kasra close to her, hugging him tightly once, before giving him back to Katayoun.

"Take care of him," she said again. Her voice broke on the last word, but again Katayoun gratefully pretended as if all was normal. She bowed low, Kasra still tucked into the crook of her arm.

Roshani turned and strode from the room before she could be tempted to take one last glance behind her.