Chapter 16 ~ "Deep breaths"

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Nate

"Carter." I hear somewhere off in the distance. "Carter!" I hear and I'm snapped awake seeing my worst nightmare standing over me. Alex Petrov. "Jesus wake up, I need to have her home in ten minutes, your mom let me in."

I look and see Sasha wrapped around me, blonde hair fanning out every which way. We must have fallen asleep talking. I know she's tired and I haven't slept right since the other night. I was overwhelmed with guilt about the situation. Knowing I'd used Sasha inadvertently. Knowing I should have just been straight up with Sabrina and ended it.

"S-sorry, I-um....I didn't mean-"

"I know it's fine just get up." He huffs and I slowly slide away from her making sure she doesn't wake up.

"I didn't know when you were coming or if you were. If I had, I promise I would have had her downstairs ready to go when you got here." I defend feeling words spill out without me being able to stop them.

"Whatever, I'm just glad you're decent." He says shaking his head.

"No, it's not like that I swear. We haven't-we aren't.....doing anything like that." I tell him and he sighs.

"Do you have a thing for my sister?" He asks and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Um no-"

"Carter just be honest with me." He says shaking his head. "I know how my sister feels about you even though she denies it almost as much as you do. I know you're really important to her and I'd just like to know what's going on."

I take a deep breath and sigh it out looking at the beautiful girl I fell asleep with. "Yeah." I say so quietly I need to clear my throat and say it again. "She's amazing."

"You can't....." He starts and then shakes his head. "You can't jerk her around, alright?" He asks quietly. "I know you haven't broken up with your girlfriend yet. Sasha is one of those people that's all or nothing. She latches onto people she trusts thinking that they have all the same feelings and love her just as equally as she does them. 

"She'll pretend she doesn't need anyone but that's just not the truth. She needs people in her life and if she's willing to trust you and let you in, it means she really cares about you. You can't use her Nate, she won't understand that you're split between what you want and what you can't have." He says and my stomach starts to churn.

"That's not what.....well that is what was happening for a while I guess." I admit sheepishly. "But it's not anymore, I haven't slept since we stopped seeing each other. I need her really badly and I care about Sasha more than she cares about me." I say and stop when I feel the lump returning to my throat.

"Are you coming on Saturday?" He asks quietly and I nod.

"Yeah I told her I would." I assure him and he nods with a smirk.

"Good, she'd want you there." He says and I nod.

"I really care about your sister." I tell him quietly. "She means so much to me, we haven't talked yet about anything because she wants to deal with this competition."

"You two have a rough road ahead." He remarks and I nod.

"I know, but she's worth it." I tell him and he nudges me with his elbow. He kneels down next to the bed and grabs her arm shaking her a bit to wake her up.

"Sash." He whispers. "Sash!" He says and shakes her a bit harder. She groans and rolls over to look at him.

"What?" She asks angrily.

"You're coming home from the 'gym' remember?" Alex asks and she sighs getting out of bed.

"Right." She says shaking her head. "Sorry Alex." 

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