Beyond All Expectation (Percabeth)

Chapter 32: To Be So Sad

Annabeth POV:

Life was miserable. 

The Ancient Greeks believed in a Goddess called Nemesis, who stood for divine retribution. They said She was a remorseless god, and I was only too familiar with her powers. They said She showed her wrath to those who had done wrong, and I suppose She saw me as her victim now. Because I had done wrong in the past - to Percy, to my family, to a lot of people I knew - and now I was finally feeling happy... well, I guess She thought happiness was not something I deserved. 

For the first time in my life things had been going well, and it was all because of Percy. When I was with him I felt unstoppable, my happiness unconquerable - life with him was just perfect. At school I counted down the minutes until I could see him. I spent weekends with him, evenings with him, mornings with him on my mind. I had never felt so sure about something in all my life - that he was perfect, that I was in love - but around us my world was falling apart. 

Firstly, after returning to school I was welcomed by none other than Rachel Elizabeth Dare. She was sneaky with her bullying - she did it in a way that no one else saw, not even Percy - and for that alone I had to give her credit. She called me names in the hallway, left me notes in my locker, and I made sure to always leave school with Nico by my side in order to stop her from coming for me. One day I went to the toilets by myself, only to find Rachel and Clarisse waiting for me. I should have fought back, but I knew from experience with my Stepmom that fighting back never worked against your abuser, and they left me with enough bruises to make Penelope proud. 

My mistake had been going to Leo's party. Since then, Rachel had targeted me for being a "wannabe" friend of Percy and his gang. She called me pathetic for trying to hang out with them, a loser for thinking I actually had friends. And then she had found out that I was living with Piper, and things had only got more entertaining for her since then. Her words got to me more than I wanted to admit, and I sank into the same depression I had felt when I had left my last school. This was a repeat of a time before - she reminded me of the bullies of my past. Back then, I had run away and moved schools, but I couldn't now... not when I liked Percy and Piper and Nico so much. 

Reyna tried to hang out with me in school, but it only made Rachel act up more. Because of it, I was forced to push Reyna away, and eventually she got the message. She turned away from me too and it broke me inside. But still, I dared not tell Percy, in fear of him making things worse. I just couldn't tell Percy what I was going through, in case he suggest that the best thing for me would be for us to break up or for me to leave school. 

Secondly, Thalia was still trying to talk to me. I got a text from her every day, begging me to talk to her, begging me for answers. "Why didn't you tell me about you and Luke?", "You're just as much of a liar as I am", "please just text me back, we need to talk about this". I ignored them all, but each time I read them I was reminded of that night... at Leo's Lakehouse... his body pressed against me... his words... the look in his eyes... his hand on my throat. Sometimes, I would throw up at the memory of it. It was hard, hiding my pain from Percy and Piper, but it had to be done.

The worst part about those memories was that they would sometimes appear when I least wanted them to. There would be moments when Percy and I were together, kissing, and I would be reminded of Luke's breath on my cheek. Then Percy would gently place his hand on my waist, a sweet gesture, and I would silently freak out, reminded of how Luke had touched me. In those moments I would break the kiss in a panic, needing to look into Percy's eyes to remind myself that it was him and not Luke, and he would frown in worry. So I would just hold his hand, desperately needing his touch, his fingertips, which felt so different to Luke's. And I would hold Percy close, using him as a shield against the thoughts of my tormenter.