Twenty-One: Silence.
“Surely silence can sometimes be the most eloquent reply.”
-Imam Ali
Friday was one of those rare school days, the kind where everyone is on the edge of their seats and teachers are smiling and there's a breathless, anticipatory feeling dangling in the air like mistletoe. It was always like this before break, when we could taste freedom on our tongues and the feeling was so wonderful that even the school Scrooges were smiling. Carson Myles even wished me happy holidays, and even though his exact words were, “Merry Christmas, twerp,” I still returned the greeting with a smile.
I was so happy by the end of the day, and I figured that the only thing that would make it better would be to see you. But you weren't going to be at the teashop; you'd texted me the night before to say that you had a club meeting then another performance and you wouldn't have time. Pathetically, I'd gotten to the point of dependency where not seeing you for a day gave m withdrawal-like effects, and I couldn't get you out of my head until I'd seen your smile. It was beginning to worry me a little, but I guess it was just the way things are when you really, really like someone.
Maybe it was the intoxicating feeling of the holidays, or the Disney movies we'd been watching in my classes throughout the day, but I suddenly wanted to be the knight in shining armor that you obviously didn't need, the prince who would sweep you off your feet. At the very least, I wanted to show up and surprise you after school.
Aunt Sheridan let me use her car, but she did give me a funny look because even though I have my license she knows how much I hate driving. Then, when I told her that I was going to see you, she got this misty-eyed expression and smiled and told me to drive safe.
Sometimes I don't understand women.
I got lost a couple of times, because I don't know anything on the other side of the bridge too well, but eventually I made it to Franklin and then I was parked in the student parking lot wondering what the hell to do with myself. Sometimes I don't really think things through, and my sister always tells me this is because I'm guided by my emotions which is something girls are apparently supposed to like. I hoped you would like the fact that I was climbing the front steps of your school in the chilly December wind, uninvited, and had no idea where I was supposed to go. Because I was lost, so I wasn't enjoying it all too much.
I figured that my best bet was to hang around out front and try not to look too awkward, even though that was basically impossible. Thankfully, it wasn't too crowded because school had been out for a while now, and you were only still there since your community service club was making shoe boxes to send to a shelter in the city. Only a few people passed me as I sat on the brick fence in front of the school, passing time, and they didn't seem to notice me. I was virtually invisible, and sometimes that's a good thing.
It's also a good thing that I'm not invisible to you, and you couldn't possibly understand how much warmer it made me feel (it was really cold), when I heard your voice, confused as it was, calling my name.
“Sam? What are you doing here?”
Then footsteps; your shoes slapping pavement, getting louder, and when I looked up there you were, cocooned in another terrible Christmas sweater with a giant scarf wrapped around your neck. Your freckle-dusted nose was red from the cold, but you were smiling and you looked like the perfect picture of winter.
I'd had all these things to say to you, but they all slipped from my mind when I saw you standing there. “I, um, just came to say hi,” I managed. “So...hi?”
