Twelve: Absolute Discord.
“Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”
-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
I worried through the next school day, thinking about you. You'd left quickly the day before, and you had been so out of it that your tea was left sitting on the table, untouched. I didn't know where you lived, I didn't have a number to call, and I had no idea whether or not you were okay.
I hoped you were.
My aunt called after school, last minute, and said that she was being held up at work and couldn't come pick me up. That meant walking home.
It was raining again. Great.
My teachers had been going on all day about how it was 12/12/12, and wasn't that so special, and did you hear about that one kid in that one city who turned twelve today at 12:12:12? It didn't feel special, especially not when I was footing it through puddles on the city streets and getting soaked because I left my stupid umbrella on my bed. I couldn't wait to get home and be dry and warm—even the prospect of doing homework was sounding appealing.
But you know that tendency I have, to stare at my feet as I walk and just kind of go along instead of paying attention to where I'm going? Well, I was doing that. Again. As usual. And by the time I actually looked up because I was wondering why it was taking so long to get home, I was nearing 23rd, over halfway to the teashop. I guess my feet knew what I really wanted, although I couldn't decide whether what I wanted was to drink tea or have the possibility of seeing you.
Regardless, I was standing there in the rain and people were shoving past me and I figured that it was a bit too late to turn back now.
I didn't think I'd be seeing you at the teashop, not after how upset you'd been the previous day, but I still hoped you might be there as I made my way up the stairs. My hand was on the door when a cough came from behind me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
I turned. You were standing there, a few steps down, being dwarfed by a gigantic maroon-and-white striped sweater that hung halfway to your knees. Your hair, pulled up into a ponytail, was twisted around your fingers.
“Hey, Sam,” you said quietly.
I forgot to speak for a moment, because you were there, actually there, right in front of me. “Hey, Ellery,” I managed after a moment. “You—uh, you going in?”
You chewed on your bottom lip, deliberating, and stared at the door behind me. I wondered if you were thinking about your outburst, and how all the regulars who had heard it would be there again, and they would stare at you and judge you and that would hurt, even if you weren't as insecure as me.
You shook your head no.
“Actually, I was thinking...” Pause. You licked your lips. “I was thinking that maybe I could take you up on that offer of yours.”
I frowned. “Offer?”
“A few days ago, you said you'd show me around, since I'm new here and stuff.” You tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Are we still on for that?”
“O-oh, of course!” I stuttered. “Yeah, definitely, um...” I scratched my head as you watched with a sliver of a smile. “Where do you want to go?”
You shrugged, carefree. Your features broke into a surprising grin, and it was like the sun slicing through a cloud cover after a rainy day. “I dunno,” you singsonged. “On an adventure?”
We ended up at Couch City Park on Glisan, trying to squeeze under your child-sized umbrella. It didn't work very well because of my height, so I ended up having to carry the bright pink canopy to shield us both. My backpack was weighing me down, but I was okay with pain in my back because you were beside me, and as cheesy as it sounds you were smiling and laughing and that just made me happy.
You didn't mention anything about that article or your brother, so I didn't say a word either. That was a conversation for another day. But you did mention the day's current date as we strolled, side by side, down the sidewalk.
“It's kind of sad,” you mused. “I mean, this is the last time that we'll ever see this same pattern for the whole rest of the century. That's a long time. And when I think about how all these other dates have passed, and how it's been twelve whole years into this century and I've been alive to see all of them, but I probably won't be around for the next set, it's—it's just kind of flooring, you know? Because there have been so many days and months and years and there will be a ton more of them to come. And someday, someone is going to be looking back on us as history, because we'll be the past, and really, when you think about it, this one day is so insignificant in the long run, but to us, to everyone right now, it's such an amazing and crazy and beautiful moment. But there have been other centuries, and other 12/12/12s, and there will be more and more and more, and really, we're just a blink of the universe's eye. At the end of the day, we really mean nothing.”
I looked at you, awestruck. You were standing there, crossing your arms over your chest and staring at the floor with a shocked expression, and you looked like such a normal girl. But all the words that had just come out of your mouth—those weren't normal, and I guess that meant that you weren't either.
“That's not true,” I said firmly, surprising myself, because you were looking small and disheartened and I wanted to see you smile. “We don't mean nothing, Ellery. We exist, and we're real, and we're on Earth and living in it and doing beautiful and terrible things, every single person alive. There's no such thing as insignificance, because we're all here, contributing to the whole big picture. Even if we're not doing much, we are, just because we exist. And I think that should count for something.”
You froze there for a moment, stopping completely in your tracks. With your hands on your hips, you stared pensively at the pavement. I toed at the ground; had I said something wrong? Then, suddenly, you turned to me, and you were beaming.
“Yeah,” you said slowly. “Yeah. Samuel Windermere, you are absolutely right!” The smile on your face was huge as you murmured, sincerely, “Thank you.”
I grinned back. You returned to what I had come to think of as your default setting, smiling and clever and just a little bit closed off. But that was okay. Because for a fraction of a second, maybe unintentionally, you'd let me see inside your mind. It was absolute discord in there. And it was absolutely beautiful.
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A/N: LOL okay so the song on the side has been stuck in my head all day because my friends were singing it and I've been listening to it on repeat instead of *cough* studying for a history test and French essay tomorrow that I'm not in any way ready for but OHWELL
and yes i watch victorious i realize that it's intended for children but I LOVE IT SO
also, happy 12/12/12 if it's still today wherever you are in the world. <3
