Chapter Two- I Ain't Gettin' Drunk!

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Copyright © 2012 by SimpleHumanBeing

Chapter Two- I Ain't Gettin' Drunk!

Estelle Desmand

I wanted to cry so badly. The only thing I could think about as I nodded, not processing a wordy Johnny said as he talked to me, was that Beau Donahue was engaged. At the diner earlier today, I hadn't been exactly sure who the woman he was with was. But when I had called Hope and asked, she'd told me she was his fiancée.

All I wanted to do was go home and cry myself to sleep. However, I had a daughter to take care of, and at the moment, she and her best friend Chase, Johnny's son, were playing under the supervision of Johnny's wife, Cara.

"Mommy, can I spend the night with Chase?" Ava questioned as she and Chase ran up to Johnny and I.

I wanted nothing more than to have the night to myself, but I didn't want to impose on any plans that Johnny, and Cara may have had. I looked to Johnny, a questioning look on my face.

"We'd love to have her," he said with a genuine smile.

"Sure ya can sweetie," I told her smiling, as I reached my hand out to ruffle her hair.

They ran off, and Johnny turned to me, a serious look on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am, why?"

"Ever since earlier today, at the diner, you've been acting weird." He explained, giving me a curious look.

"What? No I haven't!" I denied shaking my head.

He didn't look convinced, but thankfully let it go. "Well, I better get going." I stood from the lawn chair that I was sitting in.

"Okay by Estelle," he said waving.

"Bye ya'll," I responded waving to everyone.

I glanced back at them as I walked off and smiled. Cara was kneeling in the slightly damp grass playing with their dog, Pooky, no doubt getting grass stains on the cute capris she was wearing. Johnny was watching her with adoring eyes, as Ava and Chase, chased each other through the yard and up to the back deck.

I sighed. This was how families were supposed to be. I couldn't help but wish this was how mine was. I opened the gate and headed to my house that was conveniently right next door.

I walked up the steps and they whined under my weight. I glanced around my porch and grimaced, I really needed to clean it off. Retrieving my keys from my back pocket, I stuck them in the keyhole and entered the place I had called home for the past twenty-three years.

It was a little house that had been in my family for years. The walls were a peach color, and in desperate need of a paint job, they were cluttered in pictures of Ava, and me when I was younger. The floors were wooden, and just like the steps, they whined under my weight as I walked.

Without another glance around. I ran up the stairs to my bedroom, face planted on my bed and bawled my eyes out, I felt as though I was a teenage girl.

I cried for my lost teenage years, I had to grow up too fast. I cried because the only man I would ever love was now engaged to another woman. I cried for my daughter. My precious Ava, she didn't even know her own dad. I was such an idiot, I should have told Beau I was pregnant when I found out.

At the time I had convinced myself that it was better for him to go to college, that I wasn't telling him for his benefit. But I knew it was really for mine, I didn't want him to resent me, like my father had resented my mother. I didn't want him to look back ten years down the road and wish he could go back in time and change it all.

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