everything's fucked// james cook

part 5: arsehole

I managed to go to school Friday, mostly because the promise of a party was enough to get me out of bed. Mum seemed better this morning, probably because I had thrown out all the alcohol, cut up her credit cards, and stole her cash. I also needed to find a way to intercept her child support payments, because god knows what she would do with that money. Sober Mum was actually responsible, and she woke up and got Bea fed and ready without me making her.

So my day was off to a good start, helped along by the blunt I had smoked on the way to school. Strolling into the form room, I saw Effy sitting in our usual spot. I slid into the chair next to her, and turn and smile at her. She says hello, and I remember something from the party last week.

"Ef, I think I met your brother. Tony, right?" I asked. 

"Oh yeah. He came home a few days ago and found me with Freddy. He wasn't too happy about that. He did mention you though, actually," she mused.

I cringed slightly. "Sorry, that was probably my fault. But he mentioned me?"

I tried not to sound too hopeful.

"Yeah," she replied. 

"Huh," I responded. 

She looked at me strangely, as if she could guess what I was thinking about. 

Just then, Cook walked in, and I smiled. I then noticed the black eye and bruised cheek that he had, and stood up instinctively. 

"Fuck, Cook," I said, walking over to him. "You pissed someone off for sure. Slept with the wrong mate's girlfriend?" 

He grinned as he saw me. "'Ello, princess. Why, jealous?"

I reached out to touch his bruise, and traced my fingers over his cheekbones. 

He grabbed my hand, and held it against his cheek. I was caught in his gaze, and in his eyes I could see longing and affection. 

For what? Me?

I heard a cough somewhere behind me, and I snatched my hand back, blushing furiously.

Turning to go sit back down, I called over my shoulder. "In your dreams, Cookie."

As I sat next to Effy, I could feel her questioning gaze on the side of my face, and I turned to look at her. 

She stared at me knowingly, and I rolled my eyes jokingly in return. 

The rest of the day was spent waiting for the school day to end, and once it had, I ran out the doors and raised my hands in celebration.

"Woohoo, the weekend!" I screamed excitedly as Cook wrapped his arm around me and copied my scream.

"Let's go princess, your noble chariot awaits," he said, bending down so I could jump on his back.

I obliged, and he carried me, whooping and screaming, down the college steps and into the road, where we turned to wait for the rest of our friends. I slid off his back, and he turned around to look at me.

"Hey, Cook, got any weed?" I asked, remembering what I said to him the first day of college.

He grinned and opened his silver case, and handed me a blunt. I placed it between my lips, and watched him carefully as he leaned in to light it for me. I breathed in the thick smoke, and placed my face close to his, breathing out as he breathed in my second-hand smoke. The drug smoothed my thoughts, until all I could see was the rough, beautiful boy in front of me.

He looked at me with a curious look on his face and came close to me again.

"You know I'm pure shit, right? I'm a fucking waste of space, I'm no good. You're too good, princess," he said seriously, looking right at me.

I brought my hand up to his face, cupping his jaw.

"Not to me, Cook. We're both fucked, but at least it's together, huh?" I said.

"Thanks, princess," he said, looking at me fondly and holding the hand I had pressed to his face in his own.

"Now, where are those arseholes? It's time to get fucking hammered!" He yelled, breaking eye contact and screaming at our friends running down the steps.

I brought my hand down as Effy, Freddy, Katie, JJ, and Panda came closer, and we all set off to Freddy's. 

♕⋆♕⋆♕

JJ snorts. "And then, and then, I pulled a flower out of my sleeve!" he says, looking around to see if anyone is paying attention. Cook cheers gleefully.

"Good on you JJ, do that one now!" he exclaims, looking around for the other's approval. 

I lean forward, my elbows on my knees. "No offense, JJ, but I'd rather you didn't. 

With that, I stood up and clapped my hands, and everyone broke out of their dreamy hazes. 

"Alright people, wake up! Let's do something, this is boring."

I look at Effy, and she stares back at me drowsily from Freddy's lap. I sigh. 

"Anyone else? Panda? Katie?"

I look at them expectantly, and Panda stares back at me and shrugs, and Katie's passed out. 

"JJ? You're my last hope, mate," I say.

"Hey!" Cook shouts indignantly. 

"Cookie, you're a given," I wave him off. "JJ?"

I look at him pleadingly. 

He shuffles his feet, and suddenly seems very interested in the floor.

"Fine!" I say, throwing up my hands. "Cook?" 

"Nope," he says. 

I stare at him in surprise. 

"What?" I ask. 

"No," he says, rising out of his chair. "I thought you weren't gonna piss on me, Viv. I thought I wasn't shit to ya, huh? Guess we were both wrong."

With that last sentence, he gets close to me, and I see the anger and betrayal in his eyes.

"No, Cook," I try to explain, but he sits back down and won't look at me. 

"Fine, dickhead," I say. "You know, I've had a shit week. None of you fucking know that. All I wanted was to get pissed and forget about it with my mates, but none of you arseholes want to. It's fine, I'll go alone."

I stormed out of the shed. The sun had already gone down in the sky, and it was dark. I called a cab, and slid in. 

"The Island," I say, and stare out the window as it starts to rain, matching the tear carving its way down my cheek.